Journey. 

I feel the darkness, lingering over my soul. I feel, it strolling, all around me, making a way, as I see it enter, slowly it takes over my heart, distorted feelings, I felt, only to, able to see darkness. 

I see it. It’s there. It always have been. My eyes, can’t see, but see what once, was an illusion, now was something known. 

Oh, I wonder, how to let myself free from it. I see a light. At a distance. It calls me. But, the path to it is still unclear to me. I stumble, I fall, I get up. No one to pick me up. Why? It’s the beauty of darkness. You can see it, but not them. I survive. I cry. I stress. I cry. I get up. 

The lights like a point. Twinkling,  I want it to. But darkness is all I saw. I went forward. On the path, my fate has chosen. Only to, regret? 

My legs, silently screech, and in front of the light I now stand. I peek inside. Pupils, get smaller. I see it. I feel it. 

The breeze, I feel, it. The stars I see it. The wan eyes, now, feel again. Blissful sight. Darkness leaving. The path of triumph? 

Figure it yourself. 

Hmmm. 

People leave. They do. The winds move. They do. Do you see them move? You don’t. Still they do. Then why does it feel so much. When people leave. I know I have made mistakes. I know I am at fault. I know all that. But that dosent mean. Something that it seems to. Like the air I want to float on the surface of water, as its the cripples. Slowly and slowly I tend, to lose my strength, slowly and slowly. Only to drown myself, into the sunset, that never was real. Reflection. Of what I did. Consequence. I accept. Complaint? I won’t. Destiny it is. 

I spread my wings. Wide enough. To hide. Hide? Or stay hidden? But from what? From the truth. I try to fly. I am flying. Am I? Or is it just an illusion, I am stuck in. Another illusion? I run. Run. But for how long? Until I can? Or until the end? Can these coincide, or I will lay along the path to, whose door has been shut forever. You understand? What I write? You do? 

How can you? As it’s me still trying to figure out. Words I let out. You hear them? As your mind narrates it for me? You don’t? Now do you understand? You didn’t. You never tried. Why would you? Why wouldn’t you. 

I don’t matter. Or do I? To all? Or to none? Maybe you say. You can’t say one way? You can’t. Like many others. You can’t. So what do I do? Live? Yes, you say. Thought you didn’t care. 

Wondering what all this means? You know? Confused? Many thoughts? Never mind. Don’t think. You don’t, you say? Why I ask? You don’t matter, you say. 

The Journey Begins. 

As I saw the night slowly dissolving in like the screams still unheard, to ears so human, triumph seemed a long way from there. As I saw them walking in worlds of their own, each one, w each step, never allowing themselves to saturate, as I see them, sparkling away, their life to only to brighten it even more. I was lying on my back, laying down, w the first light, as I felt the sun slowly scratching away my skin, as I slowly felt the sensation, everywhere at once.
My home consisted of a cardboard mat, w places very variable. As I got up from my bed, saw the summer sun, shining brightly, w a bright blue sky. I felt myself, getting lost in the vast sky, whose reaches were in all directions w no limitations whatsoever, only get disrupted w hunger. I started to walk across the footpath, amidst people of class, walking elegantly, over my foot, not bothering to apologize. ‘See where you go’ I said. The man in a black suit replied ‘ How dare you say that to me. Do you want me to get you arrested?’ His voice faded as I slowly walked away. To a thought I started to remember.

Where are you?

Where are you?

These are the night’s when I wish I was apathetic to feelings. The things so abstract but plays such an evident role in our lives. Oh how I wish I had someone, to hold me up, when I was at my worst. The roads I hear them, screeching, so tranquil I see, for them, not me. Oh how I wished I had someone to walk with, at the darkest night under the blanket of the love, hand in hand, through paths that danced to the lyric of the music of our love. Oh I wished I had eyes to look through, as If they were mine. Where are you hiding,  love? See and you shall find they say. But I just can’t anymore. I see my world sinking under my shadow, where It’s the regime of darkness. Oh I need you in my life, and see you engulf me while you flap your wings only to bloom the first light I may see coming but from you. The light to my eyes, the touch to the wind, the color to the colourless, the smell of the rain, doesn’t feel the right without you. Where are you? All this while I am wandering for someone like you, so that I just could just gaze at thè stars with you on my lap, and wonder which one’s more beautiful. Oh I’d wait for you, the one who is sent by him just for me, until I find you. Like an ocean, I’d like to take a dip, in you, only to explore you, only If I knew you were just an extinct part of me, now born again. Paddle towards me, as If you were the Sun and I was your horizon.

Where are you?

I begged.

Walking, on paths unknown.
Right there you were,
In a group of three,
Waiting.

As I walked,
I passed by your words,
This night, a night to remember.

You asked politely,
If you could press my boobs,
An appetite you wished for,
Only to thirst me of the thing,
That made life so beautiful.

My clevage being watched,
By 6 eyes,
On a road so lonely.

Shivers ran down,
And so did your eyes,
As you spanked my ass,
Only to mark the beginning.

I went away,
You followed,
I told you not to,
You did.

With a leap,
You grabbed my hand,
I shouted, you smiled.
Surrounded I was now.

I slapped you,
I lied bleeding now,
With blood near the lips.

I was dragged by my hair,
Howling for mercy,
But you didn’t, care.
Smiling,
I was taken,
To the places so dark,
I wish I would have chosen,
A path much better.

Thrown on the ground,
Deciding who will be first,
I lied their crying,
Slapped again,
And again,
And again,
And again.

You said,
Behave and we will leave soon.
I obeyed with a swollen face,
And eyes puffed up as much as they could be.

You strangled  me,
Just for fun,
And so did your friend,
While I begged you to stop.

I begged you,
Not to touch me,
You still did,
To places,
Where it was just me,
But not anymore.

You asked your friends,
Hands and legs,
While you ripped my kurta,
And stared in awe.
Your hands moving constantly,
And I lied half naked now.

You pressed gently,
As I moaned,
But it was of fear, and not of pleasure.
While you smiled with your friends,
All this while.

I begged you not to.
Your lips on mine,
With your consent, not mine.

I begged you not to.

You went down,
Bit me to places,
I still have marks,
I rub hard every day,                                         But they won’t,
Like the memories you gave me.

Adrenaline rush,
As I saw my pyjama being pushed down.
And hands all over,
I still begged you not to.

Hands so many,
Touches even more,
What once executed,
Needs to be finished you said.

I still begged you not to.

I was naked.
You smiled,
As you saw me shivering.

You went in me,
I cried, in pain.
I begged you to stop.
You went in harder,
Harder,
And Harder.

Blood came running out.
You smiled,
And asked me politely,
“Are you okay?”

Your friends followed your lead,
While you played with my body,
As if it’s a game, you play everyday.

I begged them to stop,
While they slapped me,
I begged them to stop,
As their hands strolled around.
I begged them to stop,
As I lied in ruins now.

With blood in between the legs.
Naked I lied.
Pain over me,
Unbearable,
Feeling feelings, which were unknown,
But not anymore.

And the wind passed,
The sun came,
And it was night.
You still were there.

Srijan.

Hello everyone.
I hope you’re all doing fine.
I have boards in a month. And i haven’t done shit. Anyways. Sad reality of today’s is what I wanted to limelight.
Thankyou for reading.
Have a nice day everyone.

You.

 

I see you, your hand in mine.
Clasping,
To stop the time,
As it’s never enough.

Nocturnal were the times,
I spent without you.

Now I see you on my lap,
With a stroke,
You revive me,
Tears no more there,
It’s just you.

I see you smile,
Eyes twinkling in mine,
Are you the ocean?
Where even deep within,
Nothing is unknown.                                                                                                                       I see you,
Smiling, as I carry you in my arms,
Only to look within you,
I see a demon.
Demon?
Please not you.

We walk through lonely streets,
Pass gardens so small,
It makes me sad,
As it’s the end,
To a walk I’d do everyday,
Only if you were with me.

You went,
With the dress I gave you,
To a date,
While I was flailing abstractly,
With words in my mind,
You let out,
To sink at last,
As it’s the end, like any other love story there is.

 

It’s there.

Night’s bright with the fog, inert as it could be.

Stalking its prey all day now, and it would strike now, admirably.

Whose the prey?  Who was stalking its prey?

Silence trying to engulf this night, but its futile. Lights litting up the empty roads to limelight a hue, the only marks they could leave in this world.

Hue?

There’s a fire. It sees it. But this won’t  stop him. It still would go for the prey.

Wood to the fire. A push to the clock. Its 3 in morning. It has attacked.

He feels the pain, under the wool. He shivers, Vulnerability.

Its everywhere. Frostily it attached itself to him. A parasite.

The sensation didn’t last to the onsetting of the sun.

It’s there. Brittle. But there.

As he picks himself up, he smiled at the sun.

Another hue near the fire. To let itself show, only in the night’s light.

The streak goes on.

Srijan.

 

 

Hello to all. It’s a lovely day isn’t it? A fine sun. Warm morning. What more could one ask for?

If you’re unable to understand. Then don’t forget to read this. 

It’s a cold night in the modern wilderness. Foggy night. A homeless man after strolling and resting through the streets finds a place to sleep at night. But the batlle with the cold was about to begin.

Help those who you can. They need it more  than you at this time of the year. They need you.

Thankyou.