heartbreaks

so, well i’ve dated just one girl, but my heart has been broken twice. and tonight, i feel like talking all about it.

so, well just to give you a background of as to how i was, as a kid growing up, i’ll share a few things w you all. so, well i was a really shy, innocent kid growing up. i wasn’t aware of like anything. i was polite, extremely shy around girls ( and now look at me write about making love in public) , wasn’t at all rude, and didn’t really know, any slang. like the most bizarre slang for me was dog.

anyway, so yeah. i spent my childhood, that’s like until class 8, doing whatever my parents would say. i would study otherwise my grandmother would like hit me. i was v scared of and didn’t really understand then as to how important it was.

anyway, i would apply oil, everyday and go to school. i was pretty cute and just chubby. like i said, i was v shy, so i hardly had any female attention. i was just too shy. i never started any conversation, like on facebook, which i had then. but that didn’t stop them. the others were not really popular then, so yeah. i still dont know, why would a few girls, that i guess were my classmates, would like text me? i said like nothing and was just so shy, but yeah.

and well, fast forward to class 11th. a lot of things were new. i took science and well, even tho, i slept like on the v first day of my chem class, but it was good. i was studying what i wanted to.

and so, one day i texted this girl, for like the physics syllabus, but well, who knew, this will be the biggest mistake of my life.
anyway, i wasn’t really interested in her, but well, she was a lil clingy and well, we started to talk a lot. it was very new for me, for i was just so innocent, that i couldn’t care less, about all the materialistic things. so well, filled w excitement, i just kept going on, w whatever.

so as you can tell, that the beginning was rather okay, just like any other.

i didn’t know what love was, or any of that. i just knew, that all I want to do was talk to her and tell her that how amazing she is. i would remember, the small small things, and just would imagine a future w her, which would be lovely. that’s what i thought. i reminisce myself, about all i was, and it just feels so stupid. i remember we had like an english exam, and she didn’t really give the exam because she was ill. so after like my bus dropped me at my house, i ran, towards my home, because that’s how excited and happy i was to talk to her and ask her, as to how was she. I ofc didn’t tell her, this and a few more things like these. well things were okay then, so i asked her and stuff.

anyway as time passed, i noticed how her behaviour changed. she just wasn’t the same. she was mostly cold. i tried everything. everything! also had in mind, as to what i would do, on her birthday so as to make it all special. but it remained a dream.

i remember giving her a card, which she in front of me, folded and put in her small bag. it was a pre birthday card, that i had for her. but when she folded the card and put it in her lil bag, that broke my heart. it really did.

she i guess, got bored of me, and so just treated me, just like any other guy.

i would be desperate to talk to her or like just ask her once, if she was okay. i remember we had a mutual friend and she was bengali. so, i would ask her, if she can ask her, that if she’s fine. and her friend was really sweet. and she still is, I’m sure. i wish her the best of luck, no matter where she is. this is our school friend and I’ll talk a lil more about her, in a while.

so, she wouldn’t really talk to me in a way she used to. she would be just so rude to me. and i just didn’t know how to be rude then. so she took advantage of that, and just would continue to do what she’s good at. i remember all the night’s that oh I’ve spent crying for a girl, who just won’t love me back, for she never really loved me but always liked me. and she told me this. i didn’t say anything to her, but i remember crying like a bitch later, for i was in love. and no, i never told her, that i loved her. how could i have? for she just wouldn’t talk to me.

it was really hard to accept. because this was my first time experiencing something like this and this was indeed a big deal. i tried everything. i remember the first time i met her like in public, i gave her a rose. it was a beautiful feeling and that an hour or so where I was like w her and a friend of hers who seemed sweet. i remember playing this scene in my head, for a long time, because all of it was beautiful.

whoever is innocent,they feel a lil too much. and so that’s what happened to me. every time, I’d try talking to her, she would say something rude, and I’ll listen and just won’t say anything, but still would come back the next day, for i think i was desperate even for a few words, no matter how mean they were. she was basically taking all her frustration out on me. didn’t understand then.

anyway, now started the depressing phase. i cried almost continuosly for 6 months. festivals or birthdays had no meaning for me. all I would do was cry. at night.

i remember failing in my like class 11th in chemistry. yup. it was well a blow. to my family. but nothing was in my control. i didn’t know what i was doing. i was just depressed. i begged for peace or her at times to god. never really got it and glad that he didn’t. needed it.

while i was spending all these night’s crying, that stupid girl, was smiling and enjoying her life.

i well, realize it all now. i ruined all festivals for my family. and yes,I deeply regret it and apologize for the same.

and there’s a lot to it, but you get the gist. i was too shy, innocent and stuff. but this heartbreak taught me pain and a lot of things. what’s sad is that the first girl i loved treated me like this. i just wanted to marry the first girl, I ever loved but that’s something, that will never happen. and this stupid girl texted me saying sorry and stuff, about whatever. I was like okay and stuff for I was onto much better and bigger things now.

and oh about that bengali school friend. i was like in my economic class one day and i looked into her eyes and there was pain. and also i think i had a crush on her, like much later after this stupid girl. and i wrote her a thing, which i never really told her about. it’s ‘first day at school’ if anyone is wondering. but i even messed this up, because i was just too shy and stuff.

in the end, i think, it was all meant to be. yeah, it was one sided and i guess, i’m also at fault, but well, you just dont treat someone like this. no matter what the reason. we were young. i made a mistake. she well, made a mistake. in the end, i guess, this was important. for me to grow! for me to focus on life. for me to achieve.

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i found flowers,
blooming in her amiable eyes,
looking at me,
from a distance,
and oh i fell in love,
with the way she smiles.

call her pink city,
with her rosey lips,
and a smile so exquisite,
only to dream of,
caressing her to sleep,
as she’d lay in my arms,
and oh it’d feel home.

a bouquet of daughters,
is something i’d love,
for oh my love,
they’d remind me,
as to how beautiful,
her mother is,
whom i fell in love with,
over and over again.

oh i felt her,
thirst to write romance,
only to ask her to,
to fulfill it.

oh my love,
let me be your canvas,
where you’d stroke,
the ink of your unsaid words,
full of romance,
until now.

let me be,
the orchestra,
of your heart so sweet,
that’d play you a song,
or was it you?
for oh my love,
you’re music,
while i’m your lyric.

oh let me witness you,
dancing in the rain,
only to witness you,
paint me a movie,
that’d just have,
you and me!

we won’t act,
nor would we script,
for i’ll held your,
hand in mine,
while you’ll hold mine,
in yours,
and oh my love,
we’d walk,
under the stars,
we’d lay,
on the grass,
we’d kiss,
to love, yet again.

srijan.

this could go on forever, but nvm.

see you.

romantic periods

i was just telling someone, that well i find everything romantic, unless it’s something like really serious.

but yes, periods can be the most romantic periods of the month. like i always say, romance is a way of life. it’s in the little things! it’s not easy to take care of a women, but that’s what makes it so appealing. when you’re with the person you love, in a house of your own, there’s nothing more, beautiful than waking up next to the one you love, only to whisper “good morning, honey” and smile at each other, only to wrap her in your arms, and kiss her all over. it’s a beautiful moment, trust me. you can never get bored of this. like ever!

so, well now if one was to imagine periods, you’d think of cramps, pads with blood, uneasiness and well mood swings! these mood swings always confused me.

your women, will have periods every month, so well this is something, you’d have to do, every month, and it’d be all very lovely, for it’ll turn out to be beautiful, and she’d smile, throughout. so, you’ll have to ask her, when does she usually get periods, and it can be any day of the month. it can last upto a week, but well it depends. the first two days are really difficult.

you need to quick and loving. give her a aspirin, a day before she’s due so that the cramps are less painful! and yes, aspirin helps!

and so the day, arrives and it’s early morning, and well here they come. she’s all uneasy, and throwing tantrums so many, but oh don’t worry, for i’d just kiss her on the cheeks, and hug her tight, and ask her to lay down!

keep a pillow under her thigh area, gently. only to look into her eyes and tell her, as to how beautiful she looks this morning! i’m laying just next to her, only to now take her hand in mine, and tuck her well, under a blanket.  kiss her forehead, and whisper in her ears, poetry so deep, but oh softly, only to caress my hand, over her forehead! caress her hair, and look into her eyes only to now kiss her lips so sweet!

slowly i’ll sneak out the blanket, only to ask her to close her eyes, while i reach out for the bedside table, only to take out a cadbury that now, she’d chew on! doesn’t matter if it’s too early in morning, for this moment is just for ours to cherish!  slowly open it, without making a sound, and break it to a small piece, only to take it in my mouth, as i leaned in to feed her, and oh she smiled and oh we kissed.

spent some time feeding her this, only to ask her, to watch a show on netflix, while you’d be right back.

and oh after half an hour, here i’m! only to pick her up, as you’d take her, in your arms, while she’s looking at you, in pain, but oh not for long. here we are, at the sink, only to ask her to brush her teeth!

carried her in my arms, yet again, for oh these few days, she won’t walk, for oh i’m here! in the washroom, we are, only to look at the bathtub full of water so warm, only to slowly take off her clothes, while she’d lay over me! i’m leaning at one side of the bathtub, only to caress her, belly, slowly and gently! let her enjoy the moment, and oh it’d feel better, for the warm water and gentle caressing will ease, my love’s cramps. kissed her shoulder, while caressing only to recite her a few lines. kiss back of her neck, as you slowly remove her hair so golden, only to kiss her cheek, and oh then repeat! we would fall in love, as the warmth of our love, would adorn all these candles i had placed all over the bathroom. just for us.

i’d lay there, while she’s leaning onto my chest, with our legs stretched for a while, only to then pick her up, and make her sit, where, i’d take a towel and dry her all over!

i would find a long shirt of mine, only to help her to wear it, while i’d ask her to change her  underwear, with the pad in it.

and oh then, our home would witness me carrying her to our bed so warm, only to curl up yet again, in each others arms!

less clothes, less bullshit. caressing her belly, only to find me next to her, as she came towards me, only to wrap her in my arms, and cuddled! and oh it felt beautiful!

it’s around 12 now, so i’d better get cooking now! we will have brunch, after i’m done cooking, greens so many! no junk, nor food with including a lot of salt! would often come to her, to ask her to drink some water, for oh she needs it! keeping her hydrated is really important!

switch on the tv, while she’s laying, on the bed, only to find myself cooking, and oh it’d feel lovely. for then i’d be right next to her, feeding her, while kissing her in between! i’ll eat sometime later, after i put her to sleep, with her small teddy 😛

slowly, told her poetry while she held her hand in mine, only to kiss her forehead. slowly our eyes, looked into each others, only to twinkle. the warmth that we shared, drifted her to sleep! and oh she slept like a baby!

she woke up during the evening, only to find her bleeding! oh i told her not to panic, only to kiss her, while i helped her change, only to wash all that should be. kissed her, while we were at the washroom, cleaning, only to switch to new underwears, and oh then, i danced for her a lil, on song so bollywood! and no i can’t dance, so well, was basically making fun of myself 😛

time passed, doing things so special and just for her, for oh as long as she’s distracted, oh she’d smile!

had dinner, only to now feel her over me, as now i made love to her, for at this time of the month, it’s great! kissed her naked body, while she kissed mine. made love to her, for the longest time, only to witness orgasms so many, only to find ourselves,in each other’s arms, only to sleep. would relive this day again, tomorrow, but it’d be a lil more beautiful, but just because of her!

and even i get mood swings, but well they are romantic ones, and includes hugs, kisses and stuff. no cramps, sorry 😛

srijan.

oh my love

oh my love,
i’ll be your rumi,
while you’d be my angelou,
and oh we’d love,
in a way so ardently,
oh this world would read,
long after,
two hearts were less,
in this world so big,
for now my love,
they’d just known,
as one.

oh this mere world,
of mortals,
would never understand,
the love that,
i’d have for you.

oh my love,
my eyes
would be addicted,
with the sight of you,
as if you were the spring,
for my cherry blossoms.

words will pour,
from you to me,
from me to you,
until one fine day,
we’d hear words so lil,
from someone,
who’d be a part of us,
only to fall in love,
with each other again,
for she’d be a exquisite,
reflection of you and me,
adorned w strokes of cripples,
amidst the horizon embracing,
whilst the sand, kissing.

srijan.

making love at the beach

oh it’s a lovely evening. look how the sunset slowly wears itself on the callous sky, for today it’d witness something, that’d make the stars above wet, just like her.

oh i’m wearing shades, only to look at her, as she’s soaking herself in the sun, but oh only of she knew, that today it’d be the warmth of our love, that’d tan her. saw her golden brownish skin, flaunting itself, as it caught my eye, only to move towards her.

i found myself laying next to her, on the silky sand, only to witness her wearing a pink bikini. her legs one one top of the other, while she’s busy reading, with glasses on, and oh i fell in love with her, for oh it’s time.

i found myself caressing her belly, as she glanced at me, only to smile, for she wants it, as much as i do. slowly i leaned in to whisper, “i’ll make love to you now, my love”. and oh how she smiled, while looking into my eyes. she dropped the book to the other side, only to make me grab her hair, as i pulled her close, only to find me facing her.
kissed her open mouth. while my hands went down into her pantie, to massage, my other love.

oh how passionate were we now? for oh our tongues embraced each other, only to never let go, while my hands caressed her hair. i brought her over me, only to find her hand sneaking into my pants, as i felt her, all over my penis.

i caressed her face, as i slowly removed a few strands, only to kiss her even more, for oh she was a beauty, only to find my heaven, in the way her lips felt on mine.

i sat up, only to cross my legs. i felt her on my lap, only to witness her stretching her legs, as we kissed away, like there was no tomorrow. my hands caressed her back, while her caressed mine, only to find myself kissing my way down!

i left my imprints on her neck, only to unhook her bra, in a glance! i squeezed one, and caressed in circles the other w my finger, only to kiss the bottom part, only to hear her moan, and oh how beautiful it was?

i squeezed her boobs, only to suck on her nipple, biting gently, only to make her moan, so sweetly, oh i kissed her everytime, she’d moan!

she wore her arms, around me, only to kiss her yet again, as now i stood up, with her on me. i gently lay her, on the sweet sand, or was it her?

only to now find myself over her, as i started kissing her from the forehead, only to kiss her eyes, while she closed her flaps. her hands unzipping my pants, only to stroke my dick.

i kissed one side of her lips, only to crave her for the other, as i felt her not letting me go down, until i had kissed her, on her left. went down, only to kiss her cleavage, while squeezing, only to kiss her all around it, at first, as then i kissed on it, later. and oh it felt, lovely.

while i was busy squeezing her boobs so fluffy, my hands were already visiting her pussy, that was awaiting my entry, for so long, and oh she was dripping.

i kissed her bellybutton, as i took my wet hands out of her underwear, and licked it, while she smiled at me.

all this sand around us, with shells so many, while a sun, that’s now setting, only to welcome the moon, with the sound of her moans, for oh i was kissing her thighs that were close to her pussy so pink. i kissed all around her thighs, only to now start kissing her pussy. i kissed every bit of it, licking in intervals so random, i witnessed her grabbing the loose sand.

she moved a lil, while, i caught hold of her clit, only to open her legs wide, as i sucked on it! i made out with her clit, while my fingers paid her pussy a visit, slowly at first, only to go harder as time would pass.

the wet sand glistened along with the stars, that witnessed this sight. a cold breeze adorned this feeling, only to lay down, as slowly my tongue moved in directions, inside her pussy. this went on for a while, only to now witness her get up, while i was still on the ground.

she asked me close my eyes, while she took of my pants, only to find my dick, still hard.
i then found my body except my face and my stuff, all covered in sand. all plain, only it’s standing.

felt her hand, playing w my dick, only to slowly feel her tongue all over my shaft. oh gentle was she? for oh it felt great! while sucking on my dick, i felt her hands fiddling with my balls. soon, her tongue caressed my balls, only to gently grab it’s skin, while i moaned away.

felt her sitting on my mouth, while i licked her all up, only to feel her ass over my dick.
it was inside and oh it felt great, for she was moving her ass up and down, while she looked into my eyes. i freed myself, from the sand, only to pull her close, as i felt her chest on mine, only to now go deeper than ever, while my hands held her by her waist.

i stood up, only to walk towards the waves. while still inside her.

we were around water, only to now make love to her, in the position so missionary, while the cold water greeted us, and oh the feeling was exquisite and so were the movements.

slowly i went harder and harder, everytime, only to find her in the crawling position, while i was standing! and oh i was inside, slowly in the start, only to go faster.

and oh with this, we ended this night, that we’d never forget, for oh we made love under the stars, only to now gaze at them, while we lay on this cold beach of ours, in each other’s arms!

well, i also happen to know a beach, where no one really goes. so, this might just become true in the near future. i’m working out a lot lately, because i’ll be in mumbai soon. probably will rental an uber and move around the city. it’d be fun.
in summers, you sweat like anything. i’m all sweaty w/o my shirt after a few reps. it feels good, but still. miss winters, already. 
see you.

 

eve

i’m drunk,
at the thought of you,
smiling at me,
wishing my eyes,
would reside in yours,
while yours would reside in mine,
only to feel bliss.

oh my love,
you’re a heart so exquisite,
turned once dust,
into castles so serene,
that oh my dear,
i’d name after your smile,
for oh my love,
i’d like people to savor,
as to how beautiful,
you really are,
like i do,
as i witness you smiling at me,
with eyes so lovely,
wishing this would last,
until forever!

oh my lady,
let me plant a rose,
from one of the seeds,
that i’d find in your eyes,
as i’d kiss them to sleep,
only to feel you over me,
as i’d witness me laying on grass so soft,
in a garden so rosey,
that you gave birth to,
as and when you smiled.

srijan.

under the dressed sky

it’s time for you and me, to sit next to each other, for oh love, tonight, i’ll blend your scars w the beautiful, you. let’s gaze at the sky, from our bed, for tonight, my love, there’d be no roof! for tonight the stars would twinkle, as they’d witness you and me, in love.

let’s lay down for a while, on our bellies, while we sit next to each other. let us feel the cold breeze  warming our hearts, and oh it feels beautiful. witness me shush, for oh i’m looking at you, while you’re looking at the dressed sky.

you whispered, you find them, beautiful, while i told you, i find you beautiful.

oh how, i was admiring you, while you were reading a novel, that i wrote for you. only to move my hands through your hair, like never before only to find my lips, caressing your cheeks.

oh feel me caressing your back, my love, while you’re still reading, only to glance at the stars, and smile for oh i’m loving all of it, for you’re here.

oh i’ll ask you, if i can remove your top, my love! i witnessed you smiling, only to nod so innocently, oh i couldn’t help but kiss you.

i was gazing at your bare back, while you were still reading. i kissed at the center, only to witness you drizzle a bit. oh my love, then i began massaging you, only to relive you of the stress, that you might be in and oh it felt beautiful!

my hands strolling your buttery skin. fluid movements carved my name all over, only to make me kiss your back, once in every while, for oh it felt beautiful, my love. i witnessed you, keeping your book aside, only to close your eyes and lay down, and oh you smiled.

i fell in love, only to start kissing you from top to bottom, for oh my love, you felt beautiful.

my hands on your shoulder, massaging you, while i kissed your neck.

at times, when passion would take over me, i’d grab you by your only to make you, look at me, while i lean in for a kiss, for oh my love, it felt beautiful, and so did you!

watch how my fingers, moved in circles, on your back, only to carve the moon that’s missing from this dressed sky, for oh tonight my love, even the night, wishes to admire just one exquisite paradise, and oh that’s you.

oh my love, i’ll caress you w my fingers, while i’d kiss where, i would caress. and oh it’d never stop, until my love, the very end.

witness me tonight, only to later, lay next to you, as i pull you close, only to wrap you w my legs, covering us under a blanket, to sleep tonight, for oh, i love you.