i sang you, this christmas, my love and heard our lil one giggling on the next

oh my love, i seem to love
all that you might have to sing
but oh my favorite song, of yours
is the one which your lips
would sing on mine

so, i wrote this like on 8th dec. but felt like posting it now. 

it’s 3 am, as i’m writing this. yesterday was a rather sad day. one of the strings of my guitar broke. and i just couldn’t help, but notice, how this old friend of mine, has changed. it’s just not the same anymore. this makes me even more sadder. 

anyway, i tried to sleep, but woke up really early. and i’ve been up since. so, well i thought, i’d share that dream of mine, which i thought, i’d make it special, just for her, but at this moment, the only thing, that seems to me, make me smile, is the thought of her and the dreams, that i’ve with her. 

so, well. i never asked much, from my life. i really have never. i’ve always wanted to love. if i were to be really honest, i didn’t even know, that the things i write are romantic. or that i was like romantic. a few people, started telling me, and that’s when it like came to me. that i guess, this is romance. 

i on the other hand, still don’t think i’m. for all that, i’ve written, are my  feelings and love that i have for a girl, i really like. it’s like, when you like someone, you don’t think of being romantic towards her. you just think of ways, as to how to make her smile. as to how can i make her feel special and surprise her, with things, she won’t expect. as to how can you treat her like a queen. how can you make her the happiest of them all. how can you still be there, when all seems to fall apart. how can you make her giggle, when she’s crying. that’s one of the most beautiful, things ever. to make your loved one smile, when she’s crying. there’s no feeling more beautiful. i’ve felt it, and i know it. like you can hear her smiling meekly, w tears on her. it’s a beautiful, feeling. i’ve felt this one, w my ex. she was a cutie. 

and well, i personally love making efforts, for a girl, i really like. i love surprising. like i remember, i had this friend, in school. let’s call her, bhumi. so well, if i remember correctly, i guess, i was in 11th. and well, her birthday is on i guess, 22nd October. i’m not sure, for it’s been some time, since i talked to her or wished her. anyway, that year, she was going through a lot and was really upset. it was a rough time. and so, i decided to meet her. so, well when i like met her, i had made two cards. the first card was like on A4 and the other was on a chart paper. so, i thought to surprise her, by giving the smaller one first. and then the real one. it was so fun and cute haha. i still remember, that she wore like a black dress and some jeans. if you like want to read more about this incident and her, you can, for i’ve written all of it, in a single post. it’s called “lost”.

anyway, yeah. so like i said, i love surprising. and that’s more or less the gist.


so, yeah. about that dream of mine. it’s something like this. 

how beautiful, is the time of christmas, my love? for oh my love, i can’t seem to stop smiling, at the thought of you wearing socks oh so red, and a santa hat, only to witness you smile oh so sweetly at me, and oh how beautiful, does it feel?
oh my love, don’t mind, if i were to intervene you reading, only to sit next to you, and wait for you to glance. but oh i knew, my love, that your eyes w kohl on them, was in the mood of playing w me, only to ignore me, as i kept calling you, wifey, wifey.
oh i hope you didn’t mind, my love, then when, i just went in, so as to hug you, and dropped that cute santa hat of yours, while you blushed, but oh my love, it felt beautiful. you, my lady, felt beautiful. 

home

oh my love, how i  looked into your poetic eyes and oh kept you in my arms.
and oh my love, i seem to have loved, every second of it. oh i hugged you gently, for oh my love, there was our lil one down there, with her first christmas.
after hugging you, my love, i helped you w your santa cap, and oh how adorable, were you looking, only to kiss you, on your cheek.
i then, my love, kept my head, near your belly, and oh whisper, “merry christmas, love”. only to keep my hand over it, and feel her kick. and oh how i took the gentle kick as words so few, but oh so exquisite, which oh said “same to you, dad”.

oh how beautiful, would it be, my love, for as i now, kissed you, on oh your lips, that oh were on mine, for oh a while so long. only to later, smiled at each other, for losing ourselves, only to make me tease you, and kiss your forehead, yet again and oh how beautiful, did it feel?

oh my love, what did you feel, when oh i carried you, in my arms, so as to take you towards our christmas tree, in oh our living area. oh how beautifully, did you fit in my arms, my love? 

oh how i slowly walked to the christmas tree, only to now stand in front of it, and saw oh how beautifully, my love, you were gazing at it, and oh i fell in love, w all of it. 

oh my love, then oh, did you feel? as oh we kissed, and so this way, all my dreams, that oh i once dreamed about, seem to have come true, for all i wanted, was all of you. 

me and oh my love, kissing. 

oh how beautiful, did we feel my love, as our tongues were the blankets, for us to feel warm, and oh my love, i couldn’t help, but oh whisper, i love you, again and oh yet again.

i gently, now my love, helped you on the floor, only to sit on my feet, and listen to my other love, that oh resides in you, on this eve, only to kiss her and oh i loved it, for oh she kissed me back. 

me, my love and a kiss to my lil one. 

oh how then, my love, i sat on the sofa near us, only to then invite you, 
to sit on my lap. and oh my love, you felt oh so beautiful, as now i felt you in my arms, only to wrap my arms around all of you. oh how i looked into your eyes, my love, and you looked into mine, only to feel you leaning in and oh we kissed my love.

oh my love, how i felt your arms on my hair, holding me oh so tight, only to oh never let go. 

my love in my arms, and oh all of it, felt oh so warm. 

oh how beautiful, was it all, my love? as now, i felt you, in my arms, slowly burying yourself in my chest, while looking into my eyes, like never before. oh my love, i lost the track of time, we sat there, oh so close, listening to our hearts breathe, only to kiss you, every time, my heart would flutter, only to fly along w yours.

i to the right, my love to the left, our lil one in the middle. 

oh how my love, now we lay next to each other, only to hold each other’s hands and tuck ourselves under a blanket, while i caressed your belly and kissed you, on your cheek, and felt me, wrapping all of you, for oh my love, i’m in love, w you. today, tomorrow, ever after. 


so this is the dream, i had, w my lady. whoever it might be. i dont know, about all of you, but i felt chills, while writing this, for oh i could feel our skins touching, her in my arms, our wet and warm kisses and oh what not.

i haven’t kissed someone i loved or carried someone in my arms, in like years now. also  haven’t had a good make out, in years or a good kiss, for that matter. is anyone interested? haha. i know, no one is, so it’s fine. 🙂
i actually feel a lil happy after writing this. this just makes me wish, that oh my lady was w me this christmas. or that i like had a lady. nvm. atleast i’ve romance. 
i’m btw, v choosy, when it comes to girls. i just can’t be w anyone. there has to be something interesting and exciting in it, otherwise, it won’t last. that’s why, whenever i seem to like someone, it’s after, much noticing all that she is and knowing her. so, if i like someone, then she definitely is someone really special. she is, for oh i felt it, like i felt, w mine. 

anyway, i’ll go now. see you. 

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the lady i’ll love

your smile is my eve
and oh you in my arms,
is my christmas

so, well christmas does make me really romantic, and it’s for obvious reasons. it’s just a really beautiful time of the year. like there’s so much to do and love.

i can only imagine, as to how beautiful, will be the evenings, that oh i’d spend w my lady. dressed up as the santa, i’ll try to make her laugh and maybe sing her a few carols. oh how beautiful, would it feel? i’ll never feel winters, for the love i’d share, will oh keep us warm, even on the seemingly coldest nights. 

and it dosen’t matter, as to which religion, the girl, i’d be getting married to, belong. if she’s muslim, punjabi, christian, bengali, marwadi, rajasthani, american, british, or whatever. i’ll be as romantic, as i always am. 

i’ll be as romantic as i can be, and try to make the day special for my lady, no matter if the festival is, eid or diwali. i’ll love her the same and oh would do all things, just to see her smile.

i’ll love, every bit of it, for i know, it’ll be worth it. 

kindness; the longer journey, but oh an exquisite one

i don’t really share these things, w anyone, for these things, are something, which are meant to be kept hidden. for the best form of kindness, is done, without even being kind. if you get, what i mean, you’d know, why i hide these things. 

but well, i had to share this, for this was well, something worth sharing. 

so, well i went to noida, sec-18, because well, i’m planning to buy a keyboard, and so i was just doing some research, as to which one should i like buy? so, well i was moving from shop to shop, comparing and noting, all the things, that well, were important. after moving from one musical shop to another, for a while, i finally was done, for the day.

so well then, i started to look for an E-rickshaw, and after a while, finally found one. i was sitting in the front, right next to the guy, driving. 

 i was wearing like a jacket and some pants. it was really cold today, and well, i didn’t realize it, until the e-rickshaw, started speeding down the mostly empty road. i was listening to a few songs, and well, it was peaceful.

so, just so you know, the way to sector 18 from my place, is mostly a straight road, for i live v near it. before like sector 18, there’s 16 and before that, it’s sector 15. all of which are like on one straight long road. so, i was going home, from sec 18 and we were on our way. half way home, just before like sector 15, i saw something, and the next moment, i was asking the guy to stop and well, i paid him the money. 

he dropped me at an intersection which was like near sector 15. because well, i asked him to. after this guy left, i walked backwards and so as to do, what i had in my mind. my home was still 15 mins away. anyway. 

so i saw this cart, which was attached to a cycle kinda thing. there was a bunch of stuff, like in the back, along w her mom. and this girl, was paddling away, and trying just so hard, to move this cycle-cart thing.  all it took was a glance and i just couldn’t resist, but offer my helping hand. for i could see in her eyes, that oh she was struggling. and well, i could picture, my future daughter in her and so i melted the moment, i saw her struggle and oh it was a sight, my heart just wont let it pass.

so well, as i got closer to them, i said, hello and asked aunty, if i could paddle instead of her. and i asked the girl, to join her mother and well, they both were reluctant at first, but well, somehow i convinced them. i told her mom, that aunty, you’re like my mom and i just can’t let my sister do all the work, while her brother just gazes at from a distance. i said all this in hindi. aunty finally gave in and well, i helped the lil girl, as she stepped out the seat, and sat in the back. they both smiled oh so beautifully and oh i knew, i was doing the right thing. 

so, now i was cycling this thing, on like the road and oh it was hard. but ofc, i cant let them know, so i was still smiling and talking about how cold it is, or whatever that would come up in my mind. so i asked them, to let me know the way, which they did. i asked the girl about her and what does she like to do. she was telling me, and it was rather hard to hear, because there were a lil too many cars. 

anyway, i was cycling this thing, for about half an hour or so and i like then stopped near a market and they told me, their home is right around the corner. so, i smiled and got off, from the cycle. we were talking for a while, suddenly my eyes, spotted a shop nearby, and so i thought of something. i told them, i’ll be back in 2 mins. i had like 40 bucks in my pocket and so, i like bought a cadbury for it and gave it to the lil girl and oh how beautifully did she smile. i wished her merry christmas and smiled. that girl smiled yet again and oh i loved it. for it made me think of my future daughter. the girl was not so young but not so old either. 

the lil girl’s mom, was folding her hands so as to thank me and i didn’t like it a bit and i told her, please don’t. i then touched her feet and wished them goodnight and concluded our conversation. i started walking away and heard the girl shout,”bye. bhaiya”. i smiled. waved at them. 

this was a lovely evening. i wanted to share this, so as to let you people know, as to how joyful it is, to help people. to be kind. it really is. it’s a feeling so pure and just so lovely. 
i know, i’ll probably never meet these people again, but oh they were the most sweetest and just so humble. 
to help is to live. but one should remember, when you’re helping, you’ve to make sacrifices. you’ve to endure pain, for them to smile. 
and so, now i was like half an hour, away from my home and i had no money on me. so well, i had no choice but to walk. and so well, i did. it was quite a long walk. and now, i’m just so tired. all i want to do is sleep. oh i wish, my lady was here, so i could just cuddle her to sleep and oh i would have loved every bit of it. when that lil girl, would smile, i would think of my lady, for she’d be the mom of my lil ones and oh it was just beautiful. the thought of it. the feeling. all of it. but well, only if i had a lady. only if. then oh how beautiful, would it have been?

also, i just feel really weird sharing this. because i dont know. i just feel, as if these things are not meant for sharing. and i don’t know, if i should have or not, but well, i just needed to write this. no one, i know personally knows that i’ve a blog, so it’s fine. 

in the end, it was all worth it. there was a time, when i would feel shy, to help people in public. and i would be just so reluctant. i’d wait like 10 mins or so, before i would do something. because i was just shy. but i learnt the importance, of being confident. and it indeed is important. if you know me personally, i would have told you stories about me being shy. so yeah. 

anyway, i’m really tired now. so, i’ll probably try to sleep. 

see you. 

with love

tonight my love, was all about you

i tried a lot, to control, my urge to write romance. but well, i just couldn’t. for even the glimpse of her in my mind, is enough, for me to write novels so many, on all of her and beyond. 

oh my love, how do i tell you
that oh even a few words from you
seems to light up, all that i tried to keep within me
but oh my love, i couldn’t.
i just couldn’t.
for i dont know, but oh my love, tonight, every poem in me, craves for you. your soft touch. your oh so lovely hair. your attractive voice. your sweet giggle. your mesmerizing poetry. your lips on mine. and oh all of you. 

i failed, my love, to catch even an hour of sleep. for i was running high on emotions. only to feel a lil too much. and oh my love, it made me write romance, while smiling, for she smiled, in my mind, and oh how beautiful, was she looking?

i well, after doing a few things, of my own, went to bed, w her on my mind, and oh i just don’t know for how long, i was laying there, in the dark, sleepless. but oh i seem to have loved every bit of it, and so that’s why, here i’m, writing all of it, just so i could cherish all of it, tomorrow while i hear my daughters, nearby and oh my lovely lady, on my lap. and oh, i’ve loved every part, of her warmth, as i felt her fragrance on me, while she was on my lap. just like any other day. 

oh i caught myself smiling, which only made me laugh at myself, for oh i felt stupid. for i’ve never caught me smile, while dreaming. but oh the landscape in my mind, seems to have made me feel the emotion, that oh was just so beautiful. i remember it all, my love. every bit of it. which now, i’ll share. 

i felt my eyes, closing in, but oh still, how beautifully, they opened themselves, at the sight of her, as she lay next to me. i saw her hair, all over our pillow, that oh we were sharing. i felt the light, at the corner, of our room, which oh lit her up earrings, that oh still had, my petals on it. and oh how, i slowly leaned in, so as to, bite oh so gently, on her earlobe, only to let then, my tongue, make it’s upwards, only to lick, deep. and oh i didn’t stop, until i felt her shy. 
oh i still remember, my love, as to how heavenly was the feeling, when oh i pulled you close, as i held you, by your waist. oh my love, did you shiver, as you felt my hand, slide in your top, just so, i could place my hand on your belly. and oh pull you closer and oh a lil more closer, for oh my love, i can’t seem to let go of this feeling; of you being close. 

oh my love, i still remember, as , i lay oh so close to you, only to wrap yourself, w my legs. oh my love, i remember, as to how, you’d blink those brown eyes, only to smile in secret, while i was so into, loving all of you. oh my love, i can’t seem to forget, as i removed your hair, from your face, but just so, i could give you a kiss on your cheeks, and oh my love, how beautiful was it all? oh tell me, my love, how beautiful was it all, like you did, yesterday. 

oh my love, i love, loving you. for it feels, beautiful. oh my love, did you feel it? as i slowly, helped my hand, under your neck, but just so, i could, make you face, nearby. where lay, i , with poetry on my lips, waiting to be told. and oh my love, your petal like body, blossomed towards me, as i felt, all of you moving, only to feel you, grab on to my shirt, and bury yourself, on my chest. oh my love, i seem to have, fallen in love, times so many now, w all that you do, and all that you’re, and oh how i thought, i can’t anymore, but yet my love, i just fell in love, again.

oh baby, how lovely was the kohl, adorning your eyes. and oh those rosey lips, that oh couldn’t help but smile. i felt, my love, as your hands started caressing my hair, only to feel you come a lil closer and oh  my love, i smiled. oh love, you’ve caught this heart of mine, that oh nowadays, beats a lil faster, whenever you’re near. 

oh my love, i asked you to, lay on top of me, just so, i could feel the feeling, of us kissing, again. oh how our tongues, entwined together, my love. oh how my fingers, found a home, in the empty spaces, of your hand, and oh my love, all of it was, just so beautiful. oh how, i grabbed onto your hair, for it kept falling on us kissing, only to then, pull you closer and oh how passionately, were we kissing, my love? 

i bit your lips, gently and oh i felt it stretch, only to feel, the saliva in you, dripping all onto me.
oh i kissed my way down, only to reach your neck. and oh my love, how you shivered, as i kissed all over it. 

oh my love, now oh you can imagine, as to why, i caught myself, smiling.

after this, my love, my eyes, woke up, and oh there was darkness all around. and a feeling of longing. i got up, my love, only to light another candle, and oh as it lit up the table, i was working on, last night, i saw oh so many letters, my love, scattered all across, awaiting the day, they’d be posted. i love writing letters. i did write a few, in the past few days. 

i gathered all those letters, and sat on my chair, only to feel, my heavy beard. oh how, i wish, my love, i could show you, as to how, my head sways, as i write for you, everytime. and it really does. i’m not even lying. i dont know, why. but i do. the romance makes me. you make me. i like close my eyes and my head moves in waves. and also, how i wished, that oh my love, you were next to me. 

also, there are some people, who like drunk text. i well, dont really drink. nor do i ever plan on, because well i’m planning for adoption. and so, i think, this might raise my chances. so, like i was saying, like some people, drunk text. i romance text. like when i’m feeling all romantic, i romance text my lady. 


with love
until then

you’ve the most gorgeous smile, my love

oh my love,
i seem to have an affair
with so many parts of you
and oh my love, 
when the time comes
and i’d be asked to choose
oh i’ll smile, only to marry all of you.

so well, i wrote this and felt like posting it now. 

um, so there are many things, around me, which well, i don’t like and one of them is, well seeing, my lady not happy. i’m sure, no guy would like that. 

she’s not really, my lady, for now. but well, i dont know. her thought or even her hint, makes me, write my lady or my love, on it’s own. i’ve no control over it. it’s something, you feel. and it’s a feeling so beautiful. and you’ve to write it. in your poems. otherwise the poetry would feel incomplete.  and just won’t sound nice. atleast to me. so yeah. i don’t know, if i make sense or not. but yeah, this is true.

so, i was thinking, as to what would make her day, which was not so fine, very happy. and so, well i decided to write a short thing, on it, just so i could try to make her smile. 

oh my love, i can’t think of a day, when i won’t spend my words, for you, just so i could catch a fleeting smile, for it’s just me, my love, who knows as to oh, how beautiful, does it really feel, to make you smile. 

and oh lovely was that day, my love? when oh i saw you in our room, laying on the bed, after oh a day so tiring. oh i looked into your hazel eyes, my love and knew, as to how tired were you. oh i sat near you, only to kiss your cheek once. and oh how you gave me a vague smile, my love, which only made me kiss you again and again, until i felt your smile, beat in my chest.
oh my love, how lovely did it feel? as i told you, to sit in between my legs, just so my love, i could hug you, while my skin kissed yours and oh how lovely, did it feel, my love?for oh i embraced you within my warmth. 

oh i made a home for my hand in yours, only to whisper that oh my love, i’ll never let go. 

oh i felt a smile peek at me. 

oh my love, do you remember, as to how, i took the book, you were reading, only to keep it beside us.
oh my love, do you then remember, how i let myself, lay on our bed. 
oh my love, do you remember, how i then felt you, over me, and saw the sham smile, on you.
oh baby, i remember, as i held your face awhile, only to pull you closer, as you rested your face on my shoulder, while oh my love, i told you, that oh it’ll get better, my love. and oh i kissed your forehead. 

and how my love,  i saw, you lay on our bed, while i was on top of you, looking into your eyes. and oh my love, oh i wish, i could tell you, how beautiful of a sight it really was. oh i leaned in, and so as to plant a smile, as i whispered, my best poetry to you. i kept making you, look into my eyes, only to whisper, that oh you’re home. 

i leaned in closer to you, my love, and told you, for oh it’s time, for your lips, to sway a smile. i heard you ask, ‘ when?’ and oh i replied ‘now’, only to kiss your lips and oh my love, i felt it. 

oh my love, what did you feel? as, oh i gave you butterfly kisses so many, while oh you felt me breathing, right next to you, and oh my love, it felt as if, i were breathing in for you to live.
and oh my love, did you feel, as my eyelids fluttered in delight, at the touch of your skin. 

oh my love, name all your scars after me, for i won’t let a day pass, without you smiling.

oh my love, come closer and oh never let go, for oh it’s time, for us now, to make love, only to feel our naked bodies, in sync, only to fulfill my dream, my love, to put you to sleep, smiling. 


so, well this is what i like wrote. i dont know, if this will make her smile or not. but i tried. i cant wait to do all the things, i so write about. i don’t know, if these dreams, that oh i see so often, would come to alive or not. but oh i hope they do, for i know, this will be worth it. for she is too.

i love romance. there’s no end, to the things, i can write, for romance is a way of life. and i’ve been keeping, this way of life, exclusive for oh some lady, i began, my future w. 

i saw many people doing ‘blogmas’. which well, only made me do, ‘blogmance’. and i’m loving it so far, for oh she feels beautiful. so well, this is (blogmance, day-1, her smile). and on the last day, it’d be us. 

i miss you, love. i wish, i was with you, i wish, we were busy cuddling. i wish.

you reside in the caverns of my heart. and oh my love, i’ll wait for you to return home. 

even when i’m like single and have like no one around, i still cant seem to stop writing romance. thanks to my imagination. i wonder, how much will i write, when i will like find someone.

see you.

oh you left, my love

so well, if you like have been reading me, since the past few days, you well, know that i’ve been feeling at the peak of my romance. and it was, because of this, really special lady, that i liked more than i can imagine. i’ve lost the count of number of poems, i’ve written for her, some of which are still in my drafts. and i guess, now they shall stay there. 

i love romance. i really do. it’s a feeling oh so beautiful. and well, this lady, ignited, this corner of my heart, oh just so easily. i well, is the one, who loves to express. and so, i confessed, all that i felt towards her. and it was the most beautiful thing ever. i dont regret it. i’m glad, i did, for i really felt, whatever that i might have said to her. she well, was puzzled. to which, i didn’t say, much. 

all of it was really beautiful. for i’ve written some nice poetry for her and oh i loved the process. she told me, how stressful it gets, after work. and well, so i tried to make her evening’s better, by writing, the desires of my heart, in oh a way so passionate, and how i hoped, that she would smile. and i actually still don’t know, if she did or not. she’s a lady, of a few words. and i don’t think, it would have been right for me, to ask her. and so i didn’t and well, also stopped telling her, that well, i wrote something for her. and so, to this day, i’ve no clue, that well, if she liked any of my poems or not. but even if she didn’t, i hope, that she would have smiled. that’s all i wanted, for oh i loved it, as and whenever she’d smile.

she’s a really sensitive, lady and overthinks, quite a lot. but is just so exquisite. her rosey eyes. her innocent lips. her giggle, which i never got to hear. the kohl, that well, she applies. and so much more. i’ll miss all of it. 

and so, if you still can’t guess, yes, she’s not really around anymore. she very politely, made it clear. and well, no matter, how many things, i wanted to say to her, i just couldn’t. for i know, she’s having her problems. and well, if this is what she wants, i’m no one, to comment or add to her problems. and so, i didn’t. for this is her life. and well, at the end of the day, i know, she’s a lovely lady at heart. and will be a great wife and an equally beautiful mom, to some lucky kids. 

so, now. the main reason, because of which, i like wanted to write this thing. so well, there are times, in life, when you meet people, who are just oh so special to you and are just ineffably beautiful. and she was one such lady in my life. and every time, i meet someone, like her, i tend to surpass my romantic limits, so as make, my lady, feel a lil more special and also help her w a smile. and so, i was working on something. and that’s why, i didn’t post yesterday. because i spent the whole night yesterday, working on it. so, if you’re wondering, what it was. it was nothing much, but well, me trying learn a new font, which then, i would have used to, write her poetry, on paper and would have posted it, on like the blog, by the weekend. but well, life’s unpredictable. it took me a lot of hours, so as to learn the style and i did get the hook of it. and i’ve never really done something like this, so i was giving my all, for a few seconds of her smile. 
anyway, i do have the font ready. but i won’t show it to her or anyone for that matter.  i’ll save it, i guess. but i’ll post the poetry, i planned on dressing w that particular font. in my normal handwriting. it’s at the end, of this post. and i’m sorry, i dont have a nice camera. so couldn’t really get a clear picture. i’ll post the poem, below the picture.

and so, that pretty much sums up, all of it. she’s a really heart warming lady. she just would talk to me, for 5 mins and i would get so romantic.

anyway, i guess, she didn’t like my poems or maybe she i guess, wasn’t really interested in me, in a way, that i was. and so well, she decided, whatever. and i respect it. no matter how, selfish or just immature the decision might be.

in the end, am i sad? ofc, i’m. for it’s just me, who knows, the plans, i had in my mind. it’s just me, who knows, the dreams, i weaved for her and me. it’s just me, who knows, the pain i endured for her to smile, even if it is for a short while. and it’ll always be just me. 

anyway, that’s all. i won’t write for a few days. i guess, i’ll work on a few other things. and when i’m done w them, i’ll share it. 

until then.
with love.

the thing i wrote. 

the beginning  last verse

oh how beautiful, do you seem to be, my love
for oh how i wish, you knew, as to
the amount of emotions, that oh my love
you make me feel, by oh just smiling.

oh my love, i never thought i’d confess
all that i feel for you, my love
but oh now, as i’ve, i can’t help;
imagine the happiness, i feel
every time, i shed my words for you
so as to make you smile.

oh my love, a time soon shall come
when oh all you would do is, nothing less than a smile
for oh my love, i’ll brew you oceans
only to sail a boat of our own. while raising a family 
of three, and oh my love, how beautiful, would it be all?

oh my love, we may be on the cripples
yet your wisdom, will keep us stitched to the ground
while the love, i’d share w you, will help us fly
for oh we’d be in love, ever after. 

naked thoughts about you, my love

i well, like just woke up to this dream of mine, that oh i wish, i could share with her. but well, i guess, she’s really tired, after her long day at work, and would now, i guess, be just laying in the darkness, writing poetry. and it’s a rather, beautiful image, to imagine, isn’t it? like how lovely, would it be, if oh i was next to her, only to pull her close, as she’d drop these words, on the bed, which then, i’d kiss them up, and leave them engraved on her lips and oh how beautiful, would it all feel? for oh that’s where they belong. 

sorry about that. was just feeling romantic. 

so about the dream. well, i was thinking of her, and well, just wondering about her and things, and then i guess, i passed out like that, only to wake up w a smile, and a few words in my mind, that oh i had to write, for oh i’m feeling just so romantic. and so, the words were. ‘i want you to cook me some homemade food.’ 

and sadly, i just can’t seem to predict, as to what she’d reply to this, because well, i guess, i’ve still, yet to explore this side of hers. and i don’t remember it very clearly, like in the dream. and i know, i cant really ask her, so well, yeah. but it’s fine. 

but well, i imagined. and oh i see her, at a distance, with those,
silhouetted eyes and oh, i wish, i could tell you all, as to how beautiful, of a sight it really is. 

she has thick eyebrows. and oh applies kohl. her dark black eyes, seems to be looking at me, only to make me, imagine castles, that oh i build, from the dust, that oh i sneaked in from her past, only to make all things, that oh once were vintage, but now a reality, i’d like her to live in. 

as these are naked thoughts, and are just, whatever that lies in my mind, i’ll try to be lucid w it. i did feel her, cook me, something that oh she thought, i’d like a lot. and i did remember smiling, to it, as she told me, she’s done. and oh before, i could taste it, i was up.
and so here i lay, alone in this shoebox apartment of mine, wishing i could complete the dream, for tonight, i see very lil hope, of actually living this. 

i do not know, as to where will this go. i do not wish to see it end, but oh if it does end like that, atleast i’ll have no regrets this time, of not being able to express, exactly what was in my mind. nvm.

oh my love, i do not know, if you read me, or if you do not. oh my love, i do not know, if oh on this night, you lay alone, or not. but i do know, my love, that my thoughts, see you, as the only source, of light, for oh they revolve, all around you, only to peek at your parts, which oh my love, you think, are as vain as wax, but oh my love, how i wish you knew, as to, what it really is.

for oh my love, as and when you’d stand naked, and oh look at yourself, on the stood mirror, you’d be flooded, with oh thoughts oh so many. but oh don’t worry, for oh i’ll appear, from within the darkness, unfolding my skin, lil by lil, only to feel your naked self, against mine. and oh my love, i’d kiss on your cheek, only to then, place both of your hands, on my eyes, and there you go, my love. i lended you, my eyes, but just this once, so that i could tell you, all that, you haven’t heard enough, until now.  

oh i heard, you whisper, “what do you think, love?”

and oh my love, i smiled, while i felt your palms still on my eyes. but oh i wish, i could tell you, my love, i saw all of it, for the warmth in your blood, talk to me, and oh so does your shivers, that oh you felt, for oh my love, i was busy teasing, all of you.

you blushed, only to repeat, yourself. 

i still stood there smiling, holding back, the last verse, that oh i felt, could win your heart, but oh my love, it’s no fun like this. for i’ll keep you waiting, till i’m behind you, with your hands on my eyes and oh you shall hear it then. 

sometimes, even i wonder, as to how did i grew up, to become, well someone, who loves romance. and oh, you lovely lady. i had no answer then, but had words. and now i’ve an answer, but no words to express. but oh my love, despite of it all, you’ll know it, for i’ll let you, keep your lips, on my chest, and oh how lovely, would they sound, as they’d now, be heard, beating just your name, since oh a time so long. 

you’re beautiful, my love. i wish you a really happy day, tomorrow. smile away, my love. missing you. and hey, you look adorning w maroon. but soon, maroon will lighten up, only to leave your lips, all wet, for oh i’m coming, to kiss you, through the night.

with love