i dont dream

i don’t dream of castles, but of cottages; for oh all the houses i sketched as a child overlooking hills, near a stream flowing, is the most innocent memory of who I once was and oh to live there, with the ones i love and with whom I’d give birth to, is all I need

i don’t dream of being known, for what I write or for what I’m, but oh I do dream of knowing, the heart of the one i love, only to steal the voices that echoes in her mind, as I held her hand in mine, reciting all of it to her and oh how she’d speak no more but oh shall, kiss all of me

i dont dream of performing in stadiums, but oh in one of the ventricles of the cottage that oh we built together, where oh she would lay oh so sweetly with our daughter in her arms; and oh i’d feel the love of thousands, in just those two giggling

i dont dream of doing what i love for mere wood, but because of what it means to me; oh i shall be happy, if i get less and oh just happier, if i get nothing at all, for all i wanted was for them to smile and feel loved

oh i dont dream of loving in a way that i do, for loving is not an abstract character but is something, pure and true and that oh lasts an eternity

and oh a time shall soon when i wont dream at all, for all the dreams of my past, will become the life of my present

until then, with love

Advertisements

wonder women

i’ve always found myself dwelling on the thought of having a family, for i don’t think one understands the beauty it has until you actually live it. if you’re wondering, as to how do I know it, it’s for I’ve felt it in the words of oh so many people that I’ve read or seen glimpses around all of me. it may not all be smiles, for there is a lot to it, but ‘having a family’ is definitely one of the most beautifully natural spectacle there is.

my love isn’t fiction nor are my dreams. i write the reality that we live in. and with the same sight such as mine, many begin on this journey of sharing a life full of surprises with the one they love. the engagement, the wedding day or days if it’s an indian wedding, the honeymoon, and oh then the dream life. every moment of it feels surreal for you’re living with the one you love in a house of your own. each day might seem monotonous, but still, all of it is beautiful, if you both are in deeply in love with each other. it all starts from waking up next to each other, as you open your eyes slowly to her, lying in your arms, her eyes shut. oh how beautiful is even the thought of this. i feel it all. the embrace, the love, the way her eyes would open oh so slowly and oh how she would smile at me. her sunrise eyes, is all the light that I’d need. I’ve a habit of spoiling, so i might cook some breakfast and feed her. the rest of the day shall pass, doing errands together, being all goofy, giggling, dreaming of kids, cuddling and oh making love, until the sunset and even during it. all of this does sound beautiful, doesn’t it? it indeed is, if the love that you both share is pure and true. i might not have lived all of this, but oh I’ve felt it all and more.

but life is not all rainbows. sometimes you may be in a relationship which rather breaks you for not everyone is that lucky to have that kind of comfort and love. it is rare, but so are you. so have hope.

my heart aches for all those women, who oh lie teary tonight, for whom they loved with all of theirs, was the one to hurt them the most. being cheated on, lied to, stole from, used, being abused by are a few fundamental reasons for the same. now there may be other reasons too, but what is of importance is not what caused it but what they lost. the comfort, the love, the trust, the dreams. oh how all of it shattered to pieces. and oh I understand it is hard, but remember that palaces of now were dust yesterday. forgive those who sin, for they are lost and move on to bigger and better things. for there’s something that’s worth it and the day you’d have that, it’ll be what it was always meant to be.

marriages are supposed to be pure. they are the essence, that lies the foundation of love. the foundation of building a future, with kids of their own. these are delicate dreams which when you do live while being with the one you love, feels beautiful. now if you’ve read me before, you would know that, oh i want daughters. oh how I would give anything to become a dad and hear the lil adorable ones call me dad while my wife smiles her brightest as she plays with them. daughter’s are really a blessing. you’ll know, when you live it. pregnancy is also one precious epoch. now every little thing to it is something you’ll love. there’s no end to, what one lives through all of it for each day is new as you live through it.

but sadly, not every lady is lucky enough to understand the exquisiteness to this feeling of sharing what one shares while being in a marriage and during the pregnancy. it breaks my heart, to hear as to how cruel and selfish can really people be.

some desert their loved ones while they are pregnant. some breaks the home, one thought that would last, for they had always dreamt of it. it really does break my heart. oh how I wish, i could be there for all of them or i just wish someone would for oh no one deserves to be scared and alone, when all of it meant to be full of joy. oh how I wish, people would not be what they are but just a better version of themselves.

it is hard people. it is hard getting through pregnancy alone. when you don’t have any help from anywhere. you’ve to work. you’ve to sacrifice so much and no one will do it for you. and that’s a fact of life. this world definitely lacks kindness and so only you, yourself have to know what’s best for you even if it means letting go.

it is also very difficult raising kids, as a single mother. they would sacrifice all their happiness, all their dreams and would just strive to give their best for their kids. they would make sure, their kids get every joy in the world that their is. i admire and respect these ladies. for they are strong-willed and fearless. they do what they do, to put smiles on their kids faces. they are selfless and are the ones who understands what it really means to love someone for they lack it. they lack a comfort, a help, someone to look after them, someone to cry it out to, someone to share their fears with, someone to hold on to; on the coldest nights. they never show it, nor will they ever but they do feel all of it. when they love, they love purely. they have high walls around them, letting only the right one in, and this time it shall last. for the time has come for them to smile.

love is not in just the moment. love is for an eternity. love wisely. love truly. and most importantly, love right.

with love

🌹

i’ve still not held a hand that was warm enough to hold on to

nor have i ever walked around with someone oh so special

for oh I’m yet to meet the worthy one

who won’t seem to love me, just for what i am; for her selfish needs

but oh because of what she felt

for i shall caress her; she shall caress me

yet it would be all nearby

that would now know, the feeling of what does it feel like to be loved

and oh they shall smile, to themselves

i wonder

i wonder where are you, my love? i wonder my love if you look at the sky like i do and smile? i wonder my love, if we shall ever meet only just so I could get to know if your eyes are as soothing as they seem to be from a distance. i wonder my love, if you’ve a secret where you write all that is unheard of. i wonder my love, if you have someone to hold you through all that you go through. i wonder my love, if you have someone who oh would care for you and look after you in a way, you should be taken care of. i wonder my love, if you’ve a love that is pure and true. i wonder my love, if you had anyone on all those nights to console you, that you spent crying yourself to sleep. i wonder my love, if you’ve someone to share all that you dream of. i wonder my love, if you’re good and not just fine. i wonder my love, if you have someone who surprises you with things that warms your heart. i wonder my love, if you sleep well at night. i wonder my love, if I’d ever be able to look into your eyes from not a distance but oh so close. i wonder my love, if I’d ever be able to listen to your voice and talk to you throughout the night, like I’ve never before. i wonder my love, if I’d be able to hold your hand and breeze through the streets, giggling in our own worlds. i wonder my love, if I’d ever be able to hold you close and feel you wrap your arms around me. i wonder my love, if i would able to kiss all of you and oh that smile of yours. i wonder my love, if I’d able to feel you burying yourself on to my chest. i wonder my love, if I’d be able to caress your hair while you share your warmth with me. i wonder my love, if I’d be able to recite you the poetry that oh would come to me as I’d be spend every moment so in love with you. i wonder my love, if I’d be able to make love to you only to just not reside within you but also in your heart. i wonder my love if I’d be lucky enough to wake up every morning to no one but you. i wonder my love, if I’d ever be able to hear our daughters giggling. i wonder my love, if I’d be able to spend all that I’ve left with just you, for oh I do not know when or where shall I meet you but oh my love, the day I do, the sun wouldn’t set for us until an eternity.

my love has no symmetry. there is still so much more, i wonder about. i wish I could express all of it but it just isn’t possible. I guess I’d have to keep writing until the very last day

the story so far

there are times in life where oh i wish I could be happy like many while living the life i see so many live. oh why out of all i had to think in the opposite direction and feel this discomfort living the ordinary for it just wasn’t the way i dreamt of living. and oh it’ll never be. yet I seem to struggle within these two worlds for there is a lot more to the path that I seek, apart from failure.

i’ve been told a few times that I’ve a lot of love in me which might be true. but i never really knew why, until I really realized it. or maybe I didn’t. but this is what I’ve for now.

i’ve always been rather sensitive. someone who always felt a lil too much. even a lil amount of pain would unrest my mind and trigger my tears. for i was weak and timid. innocent in the ways of the world and of the people in it. but i never shared it. i never shared any of it. for I’ve always really been alone with no one to share a bond of a deeper trust. I’ve never been lucky enough to feel the love, care and attention that I craved for, from someone special and oh I never asked for it but I always wished I’d find someone who oh would surprise me.

all of this didn’t stop me from loving or making efforts. i have always loved deeply and truly. I’ve given my all and expected nothing but had only hoped for love. to share that same passion towards that I’ve shared with the people i love. someone who wasn’t afraid to love. someone who i wanted to stay. someone who would be my only hope and oh that’s all I’d ever need. but I was never that lucky; to this day to meet someone such as that. and that is why i think I’ve so much love in me. for i don’t want the people who come in contact with me to feel what I felt. to feel that oh they lacked love. lacked a crying shoulder. lacked care. lacked someone who would talk to them about their desires and who wouldn’t judge them. who would bear all that they are yet love them for all of it. that’s why I love them with all that I’ve. like no one ever will or could. trying to make them feel the most special. i try.

but I wish I wasn’t that unlucky. i wish I would just meet the one I was always looking for. for I’m tired of quenching my thirst of the moonlight through mere stars. i wish I’d meet someone who was worth it. for now that I’ve met so many, i just seem to know that no one is really worth it until you just meet the one who is.

i love love. but I do wish, i just had just had one lady to love. for when it seems to fall apart after talking for months, it breaks my heart. my heart is hard to console. but it has been through a lot. so, it’s calm but still shattered. it still loves and hopes for better. to feel something evergreen.

I’ll always love, love even though I myself have never felt it in the purest way. but I do know that it’s out there. for me and for all of us. it is. i know it is.

people don’t realize how special romance is. romance is a stairway to feel the purest form of love and there’s a lot to it. from as simple as feeling her head buried on your chest while you caress your hair to watching an outdoor movie with her, all of it is very beautiful and just precious. i feel a lil too much so i can imagine and feel every bit of it even before living it. but I only speak the truth. it is beautiful.

my poetry, my music, my love, my efforts and all that there is to me; i shall keep it in a safe

until then

syllables

oh how my love when you smile, i can seem to count all the syllables that lie aligned on your lips, awaiting me to read the poem that lies there and oh my love I read it all, as our lips met and oh it hasn’t left since for my heart lies stitched to yours

cripple

you came closer
and oh how i expressed my love
that grew with each day; just for you
only to heal your wounds
while oh my love, you left me crippled
dreaming of dreams, that will always be abstract
for oh i shall never live them
for it will never be you; beside