there are times in life where oh i wish I could be happy like many while living the life i see so many live. oh why out of all i had to think in the opposite direction and feel this discomfort living the ordinary for it just wasn’t the way i dreamt of living. and oh it’ll never be. yet I seem to struggle within these two worlds for there is a lot more to the path that I seek, apart from failure.
i’ve been told a few times that I’ve a lot of love in me which might be true. but i never really knew why, until I really realized it. or maybe I didn’t. but this is what I’ve for now.
i’ve always been rather sensitive. someone who always felt a lil too much. even a lil amount of pain would unrest my mind and trigger my tears. for i was weak and timid. innocent in the ways of the world and of the people in it. but i never shared it. i never shared any of it. for I’ve always really been alone with no one to share a bond of a deeper trust. I’ve never been lucky enough to feel the love, care and attention that I craved for, from someone special and oh I never asked for it but I always wished I’d find someone who oh would surprise me.
all of this didn’t stop me from loving or making efforts. i have always loved deeply and truly. I’ve given my all and expected nothing but had only hoped for love. to share that same passion towards that I’ve shared with the people i love. someone who wasn’t afraid to love. someone who i wanted to stay. someone who would be my only hope and oh that’s all I’d ever need. but I was never that lucky; to this day to meet someone such as that. and that is why i think I’ve so much love in me. for i don’t want the people who come in contact with me to feel what I felt. to feel that oh they lacked love. lacked a crying shoulder. lacked care. lacked someone who would talk to them about their desires and who wouldn’t judge them. who would bear all that they are yet love them for all of it. that’s why I love them with all that I’ve. like no one ever will or could. trying to make them feel the most special. i try.
but I wish I wasn’t that unlucky. i wish I would just meet the one I was always looking for. for I’m tired of quenching my thirst of the moonlight through mere stars. i wish I’d meet someone who was worth it. for now that I’ve met so many, i just seem to know that no one is really worth it until you just meet the one who is.
i love love. but I do wish, i just had just had one lady to love. for when it seems to fall apart after talking for months, it breaks my heart. my heart is hard to console. but it has been through a lot. so, it’s calm but still shattered. it still loves and hopes for better. to feel something evergreen.
I’ll always love, love even though I myself have never felt it in the purest way. but I do know that it’s out there. for me and for all of us. it is. i know it is.
people don’t realize how special romance is. romance is a stairway to feel the purest form of love and there’s a lot to it. from as simple as feeling her head buried on your chest while you caress your hair to watching an outdoor movie with her, all of it is very beautiful and just precious. i feel a lil too much so i can imagine and feel every bit of it even before living it. but I only speak the truth. it is beautiful.
my poetry, my music, my love, my efforts and all that there is to me; i shall keep it in a safe