i won’t count the stars

i won’t count the stars
on the awaited night
when oh how she’d dress all blank
but oh still,
how she would dazzle all

she gave way to the swinging
and oh how she smiled her light
through them
as they giggled in delight; in a journey of their own
while having herself, find a place
under the sky’s skin

oh how when i seem to gaze
i do not care for her being colorless

for she’s the lady, i’d like my eyes, to color it with
for an eternity
never far, always near
close
but closer; in my arms
for i’ve written enough love
and caressed enough paper with my words

now it is but my time, to personify
the already personified

and love, every bit of this blank one
for oh she seems to be the only one
who is oh so simple
and rather innocent
with something in her eyes
i can’t still seem to find the right words for

oh i couldn’t help
but glance at her, for a while longer
for that was the beginning
of my love, that oh shall never be written

for all that i ever write, will be while feeling her palm; in mine
on every; blank, faded, torn
i’d find, but oh just for her


to see her smile, to have her smile more, to make her smile everyday
oh how beautiful, would it be?

oh how really beautiful would it all really be?

i wonder today

i’ll love soon

as and when i corner my eyes

in secret

stealing glimpses


for the special one

or


maybe i already have?

i’ve met many ladies, over the years. they were all different in some way. but still i’ve dated just one. and it’s probably because, i don’t seem to care for the most beautiful of them. nor do i wish for one, by my side. i dont wish for her to be rich, or once married. i don’t wish for her to have the same religion or share the same country as mine

i wish for someone deeper. someone my eyes sees, yet i’ve no words to express her. someone who looks simple, but is so much more than what she seems

Someone out there. Someone I dont know. Someone i’ll share all my love with

the light in my darkness; the kindest and the most caring one

for all

someone i’m destined with

until then

i dare not, give my love a name

only to keep it safe; awaiting.


with love

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places of love

i just dont look
for love in palaces
but also in swamps
dreaming of stumbling upon
the most beautiful one
that oh my eyes would glance upon
as we’d stand gazing at each other
with the mud mirrored under our soles

oh how after a while
as we’d reach an open field
we’d feel our feet touch the coldness
of this horizon

as we fly hand in hand
walking miles, giggling lots
loving, purely

oh how she was the sky
and i was the land

for oh all that bloomed oh so fragrantly in me
was just because of the way, she held my hand oh so brightly

oh how we met, at every sunset
and have the world, watch our lips meeting
on the sky; reflected on the ocean

oh how then, i held her feet
by the shore, and felt her looking at me
while i cleaned the dirt to it

and oh how beautiful was it all?

growing up, the bond between my parents felt more like an obligation
for there was no love at all, towards my sensitive mother

and it was then, i swore
if i ever love, oh it shall never feel like an obligation
if i ever love, oh it would really be as to how i feel
if i ever love, oh i’d care just not about me
but oh for the both of us

for love is like that; beautiful

i’ll be all that no one ever was, no one ever could be, no one ever would be; towards her

for i’m here, just to love you, my dear

until the last breath, i’d have left in me

oh i’d still love you,

even when all that will be left of me; ashes

through these words that i write

oh i’d still love you, with my eyes twinkling, like when oh i saw you for the first time

for oh my love, i really really would love you

until the end.

with love

💙

oh dear stranger, all it took was a glance
to make me acquainted with your pain

for oh you may have been alone once
longing for a love, wishing for a friend, just to be heard; not within walls
or oh just maybe someone around at your still unshaded candles

but oh my love remember
that oh my love is rhythmic
such as yours eyes
smiling, teary, lost
so as to fit within
whatsoever you meet me with

for oh i’m here, to hold your hand
to lay next to you, even if i cant find the key to your shackles

to kiss the dry to you

to cuddle parts to you that oh are; burnt, untouchable, colorless

to help you tomorrow, such that oh my love
you shall never limp

but just find yourself giggling
as we walk hand in hand
with out daughter amidst our palms

oh my love, i’m beside
to love, to care
to be there
just for you.






murmurs of the piano

these days, whenever i sit to fill notes on an empty staff, i seem to get lost, in the thoughts of this lady that i met. oh how as i reminisced her morning voice, i started within the softness the notes, that oh were in the middle. oh how slowly my fingers scribbled across the notes, while i imagined her next to me smiling, and oh how beautiful was she looking?

oh how the piano, gazed at me startled, as i murmured a few chords for her, which oh were new to him. but oh how all i did was to give this love in me, that oh was still oh so new, a voice no one has heard before, for it’s just as special as her. oh how this music sounded bold, whenever the passion between us grew. the way, i had her on me, only to have her lips feel the kiss that lies on mine. oh how the warmth grew and oh so did the passion to this music, that gave birth to itself in me, as i imagined her close to me, only to never let go of her.

oh how i caressed her voice, as my finger’s oh so blind, played softly to the light of her beauty in them, on the several notes that oh lay, later on the piano.

oh how i loved this of all the one’s i’ve ever written. for the warmth to it, oh the way, i’d do her ponytail, the way i’d pick her up in my arms, oh the way i’d make her feel safe, oh the day i’d take care of her, oh the way i’d spend my nights in her; oh how all these thoughts feel home to me, for she’s a lady so exquisite, in her own way.

the music, i’ve made until today, all of it is but silent, for oh i’m still waiting for the one i can sing in the open, and oh let everyone know, that oh she’s but mine.

the one i love today may not stay, but the way i love will always.

with love

a lil dream of mine

i’ve lately lost my sleep. even the sleeping pills won’t work. and so, i’m up most nights and while at it, i realized something, on this early morning. about what i would like to do, after i’ve completed all my dreams, have a wife and a few daughters.

i’ll never stop working, but i’ll be retired in a way. would still be involved with all the processes taking place all around the world.

i’ll marry the loveliest, i would come across. but she just wouldn’t be some just another girl. she’ll be rather special and the best in what she does. and that’s why, it’ll be rather beautiful. for after being, in every part of this fancy world, we both will build ourselves a home, with a restaurant to it, where oh she shall cook and oh i shall serve to all who come knocking.

but oh we won’t be open on everyday, but only on dates that oh matter to us. the birthday’s of my daughters, the day they were conceived, our anniversary, the day our children started walking, talking. oh the day, when they called me dad. and a few more here and there.

oh how lovely would it be, to share this happiness, with all that who may come. oh we shall work as a family, since the morning, until the evening only to spend time as a family later as we close the shop and oh how beautiful would it be?

oh how i can imagine my wife, with her hair tied, cooking while our eldest sits as the cashier. our youngest, sits in a chair of her own and oh how she ordered her sisters to work otherwise they won’t get paid. oh how cutely she would talk to the people sitting on the tables.

oh adorable, would it be? to see her, lay asleep as i got her a blanket and tucked her, so as to help her sleep, in a room, i had built for us to rest, while at work. oh how then, i’d ask my wife, to join her littlest and have her by her side, while she closes her eyes for a while. oh how adorable, did she look? as i glanced at them, while serving.

sometimes i wish, i could share all such dreams of mine with the one, i would marry. but that still is far, but one day, i’ll reach there and it’ll be lovely.

i can’t wait. if you’re listening, can you come sooner? anyway, i’ve to rush.

take care of yourself and love away. it’s the best feeling of them all.

with love

❤️

whenever i want to know, what is it that lies in my heart, i close my eyes in the darkness of the night and peek through the ajar crevices that were left in me. but these were what, brought love to my life.

for it not an open sky, but a sky full of clouds, that gives you rain.

to care. to love. to hope. to sacrifice. to give. these may sound so simple, yet i seem to live for just these. i find my happiness in them. for in the end, they all are worth it.

it’s a beautiful feeling; to be cared for. i’ve not had much of it, but it is. to have someone who understands you, even when you’re shackled with the truths inside you. to be loved, even when you throw fits and are broken. to be in the flame of their hope, that oh just won’t give in to the storm inside you, for it is only you, they see a family in. to be sacrificed for, even when you were never nice to them. to give something, small but means the world to them, on days they feel tired.

all this is only seen when the love you’ve in you is pure. loving isn’t easy, but it is always worth it, for even when you lose something for them, oh you wouldn’t mind, for they are still the one’s you love. and you know their heart.

about today, when i closed my eyes. i did see a something. oh how i saw myself to live the simplest of things. oh how i wished to accompany, my dearest, to the appointments she might have, with the doctor. oh how lovely, would it feel, to hold hand and walk through the doors to the hospital. oh how i payed the bill, only to then sit next to her and make her blush in whispers, for i told her about all the way, i could make love to her. how she glared at me and asked me to stop annoying her. oh how i would assure her, that oh all of it would go well, no matter how severe it may have been in the past.

oh how then we would pay a visit to the doctor and listen to all that he has to say. and hold her hands tight, while listening to him.

oh how i wish to have her sit on my lap, while oh i’d hold her by her waist, and ask the guy who came, to take her blood. oh how i would make her smile such that oh she would never know, when he took the blood and left.

oh how i want to be there for you, even when you tell me, to leave. oh how my love, how i would wish to sleep beside you on the floor, while you lay on a bed in the hospital and oh my love, i wouldn’t mind a bit for oh i had your hand in mine, the whole night and slept oh so warmly, for oh you shared your blanket with me, while oh i fell asleep.

oh my love, how i wish to take care of you, for no reason at all. i dont know why, but oh my love, i wish to, for my happiness lies there, within “caring for you”.

oh how my love, i saw another dream, where oh i simply asked you to lay
over my chest and close your eyes and sleep at peace for oh just this once.
oh my love, i saw more, but it’s all safe inside me, until the day i live it with you.

with love

these firsts are closer to my heart, than the heartbeat of it

i’m having a rather sad day, but well i guess, it’s but a phase. on days such as this, i feel a lil more pain within me, for i seem to think about all the times, i was left hurt. and somewhere it still does.

i went to the bank to deposit some money. there was this lady sitting there, who looked rather upset. i’ve seen her quite a few times, but well i didn’t really talk to her until today. i asked her, as to how is “the bank life”, even tho i knew, what she would probably say. she told me, that it’s rather bad and rather monotonous but well, the pay is nice and she has job security and so she bared working here. i left as she continued with her work.

this lady reminded me of someone. someone i met.
she was a sweet lady in her late 20s and was rather pretty. i liked her.
she was innocent and loved what i wrote for her. and that made me really happy. for that was a first for me. she was also really wise.

she also was rather upset. i felt it in her words and while talking to her personally.

anyway, we decided to meet at her place. she was not going to work that day and so we were supposed to spend the whole day together.

i remember being very excited and planned a few surprises for her so as to make her smile. i left my home and while on my way to her place, bought a chocolate for her. i still remember, how she told me, to wake her up in the morning as she’d leave the door open, so that i could come. and as much as i wanted to do that, i couldn’t because she had a roommate and a lady who worked there and was like her family.

and i’ve had never met someone, say that to me before. this was sweet to imagine. and i wish i could have and i would have for i thought we’d meet everyday now.

i still remember how she stood at the balcony looking at me while i tried to figure out as to where is she waving me from. i finally saw her and rang the bell. she opened and walked rather quickly into her room. i guess, she was feeling rather shy. i locked the door and followed her to her room. there were a few pictures here and there, a rubix cube, and she laying on a soft bed looking at me. and she was feeling rather shy. and she looked pretty. even in the morning.

i had a bag in my hand and as we sat there, all awkward and shy, i gave her the chocolate and took out a few economics books. she asked me if i was here to study, lol. but i actually had letters hidden in them, that i shyly handed over to her. she was reading them and i liked the feeling of it. i remember writing all that came to my mind the previous night. i wrote two for her. one of them was about the way i feel for her. the other as to how i wanted to have a daughter and how it was a dear dream of mine which i was hoping to share with her.

she told me, as to how it’s been years, for until now all the papers she got were the ones she had to sign which was a part of her job. she was genuine and honest. i loved this about her.
but this also told me, as to how she didn’t really liked her job. she never told me that. but i knew. she didn’t like it a bit. she liked travelling more. i dreamt of leaving everything behind and going travelling with her all around the world but well, that remained a dream.

anyway, after this i asked her if she had a laptop and she did have one. i had her lay on my chest and asked her to login to a wordpress account, that i especially made for her, which had a lot of poems in it, just for her to read. she didn’t know, how to spell wifey which was rather cute. the password was something like that. i dont really remember. she read the few poems, which also had a few pictures, that she had sent me.

we started talking and slowly got rather comfortable. switched off the lights, and lay next to each other. i asked her, if i could come in her blanket and she said yes. we cuddled for a while and to this day, i remember the beauty of it all. the feeling of her on you is just something else. i traced her lips with my fingers and told her that they were rather dry. she did understand as to what i meant.

i loved cuddling with her. it was beautiful. it was pure. it felt nice. she was saying something but i asked her to keep quiet for i wanted to enjoy this moment for a moment longer. it was lovely.

she later told me, how she was cheated on. and i remember her asking me, if i would sleep with someone else or no, which left me rather quite perplexed but i did understand as to why would she say that.

she was still hurt and maybe scared?

i never got to tell her, but she was the first and until now, the only girl i’ve ever written and given a letter too. it felt nice. i remember most of that day. also she was the first girl, i ever cuddled with. i never told her this too. but anyway, so yeah. she’s quite special. i wrote a lot of things for her which are still somewhere on my blog.

in the end, i guess she didn’t really like me or i just wasn’t what she wanted. or maybe because i was too young. even tho, as i saw her laying with her eyes closed, right next to me, i could imagine a future with her. but it’s fine, i guess. i can’t force love on someone.

now i dont have any regrets. i haven’t talked to her in years. but i still remember bits and pieces of our conversation. such as her birthday which is in february. dont know the exact date, but it’s near the end.

age is but a number. for even Shakespeare at nineteen married her wife of twenty-six. and yet they thrived, but oh why couldn’t we?

anyway, this hurt a lot. it was a lot at that time. nothing was going right.

love isn’t easy. but it is worth the pain.

all this seems like a movie, but this is but the reality.

in the end, i’d like to say that oh please pursue what you love and nothing else. no matter how much money, you might have, later in life after working for years, you’d still be not happy. as much as i value money, but still people thrive without it. pursue it when no one believes you. pursue it and dont stop until you’re the best.

live a movie

with love