lover

i don’t wish to know you as a lover
but oh my love, as to how will you be as a mom




cold

it’s all rather melancholic. the way, i see those who begging on the streets, looking for alternative ways, to play with the genuine feelings of so many.

oh who really is to blame?

oh these mere humans of stone, are but a small glimpse of the true nature; defining the existence of those who; seen and not
cruel;

oh how this world is oh really devoid of, what it should be in abundance in it’s every crevice; edges

oh i wonder, how many were fearful today; oh how many will be there tomorrow

is there no end really, to all suffering?

oh i ask you, is there really not?

how i hoped charity was but a loophole to all that is wrong in this world

but oh all who in it, lacks the presence; for it is that, what really is needed


look beyond you; look further than the rest

unless you’d like to live the

selfish way, like all

with love

truth

the love in me still flows
oh i wouldn’t waver from this love in me
for oh indeed, i still seem to be hoping

oh love is not, what will quench my thirst
but oh it surely will make sure
i never feel that feeling

each day, i seem to be spending my time
on things but of minor detail

but oh in the end, they will be the one’s
turning the shallow sunsets and oceans
that i drew
to a form of art that is oh but keen
to become one with nature

oh i chose to lose it all, for but this cause

i’ll wait and stand with time
to be able to hold her hand

but oh i won’t stay stagnant

if i don’t seem to find worthy of you

for at times, love also may end up hurting you

but not everyone deserves, such sacrifice; just one.

until then

with love

shortly

i’m disobeying the laws of this society, which oh not many seem to do. it is indeed hard, to deviate from the disciplined life, that one earns himself. but oh i just don’t belong there. oh i don’t. and that’s why, i won’t force myself anymore or limit myself, to do all that i’ve always wanted to

oh my body long’s for love, which oh is not what i use as an escape; but is the core, because of which i’m able to breathe; with someone, worthy of loving

oh how i miss having someone, to live stories with, every day that goes by, for it’ll be but the way of my life.
oh how much i really, i want to meet those eyes, i would never have to bid goodbye too; for oh i’d reside in them, for longer than our hearts would beat

i can’t seem to paraphrase my love or my dreams, in a few mere words. oh i just want to live them, now
oh i’d risk all that is left precious to me, for someone i consider, the one and only for me

her hair in a bun; cute

her soothing eyes, i’d look at, as and when she looks at me

oh i long for someone such as this; secretly

oh how i long for her to light up my heart that lies in mist

looking for only the warmth, that resides in her

oh my love, let me put my shirt around you
after we made love, that is oh my love, the warmest i’ve felt
in the past few years, that just really flew by
to reach today, to you and to oh my love; what we share

if there’s something, that oh my love, i’ve wished for time and again
it is but
for a love
to be able to love
to be able to be loved

oh my love, how i still see, sides to you naked
as you’ve my shirt around, as a robe
wearing an underwear

as oh my love, i held you from behind; all naked
while oh we look out the 50th floor
to a view, which oh my love, is as exquisite
as the art, i seem to create, with you in my mind

oh how my love, i’ll always have something to live with you
for oh my love, i’ll plant to life, even the faintest of your dreams
that you saw; told me about

oh my love, i do not know, if i’d meet you where i was born
or where my dreams led me to migrate

but oh my where ever it maybe

it’ll all end with you, laying in my arms

in a small restaurant of our’s

somewhere peaceful

just you and me; together.


oh i’ve written the same, so many times now, it all is as if i memorized it; but oh my love, as i’d meet you, oh don’t mind me, if i were to forget a few

remind them on my lips, and oh my love

i’d be sure, to take care of the rest

in ways, i was but inspired by you


oh my love, be what you would like to be, live like you would like to be, live how you’d like to
i’ll be there, through it all

with love

i chose to lose it all

i’m torn between the two worlds.

to be able to take in one; i’ll have to let loose on a lot more, i’ve held on too, since the time i was born.

i really have no where to hide, or to go somewhere in search of shelter

i’ve nothing in my palms, but a belief in me

that oh all i dream for; long for; live for

will be but my reality

or it is what i hope

of myself to become


i’ll be but homeless, orphan, alone

until i’ve an identity

until i’ll be but a success


oh i shall try to endure all

i shall try to bear; all that’s in my way


probably will be the path; the darkest i’ve traveled


oh i seem to know all that i await; but oh i shall continue

to live a life, that is of worth


breaking all bonds; from where i originated

doing no evil, but just the fulfilling desires of my heart


with really no one believing in me

oh i really do feel scared


oh i fear this change, that oh will alter my life

in ways, i can’t comprehend

but oh i know


my life, my future; has but become a gamble

the dice is what i threw

oh the sound of it hitting the ground; echoed all the decisions i’ve taken

knowing not; if i was the lucky one after all


oh if there be such a thing as god, then oh please grant this son of your’s

your blessing;

to face every difficulty

to face pain

to face failure

to work hard

to become no one else

but what he always thought he would be

belonging's; garden

“i marry you in moments, every day”

and oh that is how, my love, i was slowly nurturing you, so as to plant you next to me, in the garden, that belonged to me, and all the people, that i met. some were flowery, some just bare; with no leaves. some were old and tall, some were still buds, but oh my love, all of them, were but beautiful, with your leaf on mine, we stood in the middle of all who were but a part of me.

and oh my love, oh how beautiful, did it feel, as i imagined it all?

oh how my love, i spent months, molding my craft; since you
learning how can it all feel like music, while i’m but reciting; riyaaz.

oh how my love, i kept myself, from reaching out to you; waiting patiently, so as to work, until i can do it right

only to, my love
give my all, to take place, where there really lies no one; in you

oh how my love, i dreamt of but you
sitting oh so alone in my room, with my eyes sparkling
as i gradually explored, so as to do something, i’ve never
for but you, to smile; like you never will

treating you the same, yet oh so differently
for oh my love, you were but special

oh how my love, i dreamt to hold your arms, in my hand
driving to find a quite place, under the stars

where oh my love, we can cuddle; not naked
in the car

looking at the moon, while oh you lay on my lap
i look towards you, oh you look towards me
our eyes did meet, my love
but so did our lips

oh how my love, it all felt so warm
as i held on to you tight; caressing all to you
asking you to rest your eyes
while oh my love, i whispered; you’re home.


i’ve always loved love. but to make myself capable of being loved; oh the price isn’t easy
for i’ve big dreams, i’d like to do for the one i love
love is but my dream; the only way of life, i seem to know
seemingly simple; but a dream come true for all
not a luxury; nor a necessity
but the only truth

you’ll lose a lot to you, but as long as you don’t lose yourself, you’ll be good
let the noises remain noises; don’t answer
know to never look back
forgive them, but never forget


also i recollected two of whom i lost, years ago. it felt good. but well, i’m used to being alone. and i’d still keep it that way.

to each it’s own, i guess

with love

i unsee you every time i see you

people have a habit of taking my kindness, in a way, that they shouldn’t. it all in the end, results in just hurting me, for i cared, even when i didn’t know them.

but oh for some reason, i know, it’ll all repeat itself, knowing that oh i’d get hurt, in the future too.
for if i feel someone upset, i just can’t let myself, watch from a distance and do nothing
it is just the way, how i came out to be
and oh i won’t be sorry about it.

i noticed this girl, in my college. she was pretty, but i didn’t really see her in that way.
i noticed her during an event, which she was hosting. her eyes looked tired and oh so upset. oh how when i went back home, as i was thinking about her, i couldn’t help myself, but ask around for her, and see if she’s okay. her friend didn’t really give me her number, but well, i asked her to convey, the same. that well, she should take care of yourself, and rest.

a few days passed by, and one day when i was sitting under a street light, inside the campus, with a guitar next to me; a few girls came, requesting me to play something. i denied them on their face, because of a few principles that i follow, and felt guilty, seconds later; but oh i just couldn’t, for that would ruin the uniqueness of my music, if i were to play, just for anyone.
to make it upto them, i walked over to them, and asked them, if i could teach them instead, so that they can play on their own instead. they were surprised, but well, i taught a very simple melody, to all of them, after which they asked me yet again, to play something.
i said no again, only to spot a guy, sitting right next to us. i knew him. he played the guitar, especially in public. i told them, i’d ask that guy instead.

he was sitting with that same girl.

i asked him to play something for them. and well, he did. he’s a nice guy.

soon, i was talking to that girl, and i told her, as to how i asked around for her and wanted to tell her, that well, she should take care of yourself and well rest. it was embarrassing, but well, i did it anyway, so as to clear the air.
we were talking. she told me a lot about her, which i ofc won’t disclose publicly. but she’s been through a lot. she’s a sweet girl, in the end. that’s what i concluded. she’s emotional, probably love’s all things romantic, and loves, non veg and fish.
i remember telling her, as to how she smiled so much; yet not really. the way she looked at me; oh i knew, that i was right.

it is in the end, just a show, we put on for the world.
the one’s who talk the most, when they are outside are the one’s usually who keep it to themselves when they are alone.

she also told me, about her complicated relationship. and from what i could understand, while there was her; wanting only a sense of warmth, in this world so cruel, a level of care, a hand to hold; on the other hand the guy seemed to have but one thing in his mind; lust

oh this wasn’t really the first time, i was hearing a story such as this. a girl, who can’t let go of a relationship that is toxic to her. change is indeed difficult.
but love doesn’t feel like that. a form of love, that is but pure and true, is all she needed.

oh as i talked to her, for an hour or two, oh i couldn’t let myself, do that to her anymore. oh she told me, how she was going to meet him, and oh i tried to stop her. but oh she wouldn’t listen. how i wish, she knew, that oh i didn’t want anything. but for her to feel better and not do this to herself.
oh i really cared for i get attached in an instant. that’s why, i’m able to write, in such detail

but oh how i wish, i knew all of this will lead to just pain, and the loss of two people, i really cared for.

that same night, that guy called me, and told me, to never talk to her again. i denied, and it got really heated. he said some thing’s, he shouldn’t have. but i chose to gulp all of it in

the next day, he came to me, as i was sitting, and told me again, to never talk to her. for he told me, as to how he ‘knows’ me, and that all i was doing, was to get into her pants.
oh this shook me
i asked him, if he believed it, on the basis of how much he knows me; if i were like that
he replied yes.

i really had nothing more to say, for i was speechless.
my innocence, my strength and oh so much to me, gave up. i turned numb, as the two of them walked past me.

i still remember, as to how he kept repeating “what is to you? why do you care?”
because that’s what you’re supposed to do, when you genuinely care for someone. show them the right way, when they are lost.

oh how he thought, he was trying to be a man, by asking a guy, to stay away from her friend, who’s supposed to be a “creep”. when all he really was, but a coward.

for what kind of friend would allow someone, they spend time with everyday to push themselves to darkness, that is getting blacker each day.
oh what kind of friend, would not be stubborn, about it and tell her, to do the right thing; instead for the fear of losing, he decided to judge me and my intentions, knowing she’s doing it all wrong; easy way out.

oh i dont regret what i did. i’d do it a thousand time’s over, for what is it worth listening to a story and just nodding at the end of it.

it’s but selfish.

oh i ask you, please feel free to judge me. talk all sorts of things about me. i’d still be more happier for i’d still be called a man. i’d still be, what he can never become.

a good friend.

in time, the truth will be in the open. but i won’t be the one to unfurl it. nature has it’s own ways, to do the same.

sometimes they realize. sometimes they learn.

how ironical was it all, really? here i was thinking, as to with what fish-delicacy i should surprise her with, so as to make her smile, while all i was to her but; no one

oh the lord above is my witness. if i were to be lying/wrong

let all my words burn themselves to dust

along with me, within them

with love