i read this really well written thing, by a lady, whom oh i do not know and oh how she reminded and made me realize something.
i was always a rather shy child. and just really sensitive. oh how now that i reminisce, i recall crying so many times, whenever oh i would lose a pencil or a rubber.
or when this guy would hide my stuff, for his own fun.
oh my tears had no end. for oh losing something that oh was familiar to me would always break me and oh i was never taught as to how should one cope up with a loss that oh may seem small, but oh it meant so much more to me.
i come from a very lonely place, whilst in school
and that’s why, i guess, these inanimate objects were the only friends i had wherein i was in my most comfort.
oh how I’d cry, when the teacher would ask me to switch places, after i would have in my own childish ways got oh just so close to the one sitting beside me.
oh even then, i seem to have loved being alone, for oh i remember as the kids were chirping and having fun, i chose a seat next to the teacher.
for oh no one wanted to be my friend, nor oh i knew how to befriend one. and oh i still do not.
i remember being in tears later; i told my sister that oh i had no friends. oh i remember telling her, how no one ever talked to me or played with me. oh how i told her a few things about my loneliness about which even I didn’t understand anything
and so it is indeed true, i come from a rather lonely place
oh i was not in the wrong, yet oh i had to suffer
oh was it my fault that oh i was sensitive to the smallest of things
oh why. why was it me who was taken advantage of
just because i was innocent to the ways of this world
oh tell me, why
make my childhood feel blissful and not as the time when i was the most insecure
oh this however was just the beginning of the exploitation of the innocence in me
for oh i lost so much more after that
and oh yet, here I’m today
talking and dreaming of love, all the time
for oh it is indeed true, i do not want anyone’s innocence be stripped of them
just like it was for me
oh i can only love one, but oh let the way i love
set an example as to oh how should you love
for oh i prefer to remain a fool, who believes in love and all stories fairytale
for that is the only truth, my pain taught me
and that will be, all i ever preach
especially you, eve.