oh mother

oh mother, tell me
as to why would you, leave me alone
to live in a world, which is oh so cruel
after all the memories,
that i have of you,
since oh i was born.

oh i couldn’t save you,
while you were laying,
motionless on a bed,
while i kept sobbing,
oh begging you to wake up,
oh why won’t you wake up mother?

oh please get up,
before they turn you to ash,
and oh then all i’ll be have of you,
will be just memories.

oh mother, please oh please
forgive me for all the pain,
that i may have caused you.

oh mother,
are you still there,
please answer this once
for i’ve no one,
to show me the path,
that i’m destined to walk.

oh mother,
are you still listening?
oh please come back,
for i cant think nor can i eat something,
for i crave for your touch, over my hair
or those few words of your comfort,
that oh were the reason for me to live.

oh mother,
are you there?
for i dont see anyone,
nor do i feel anything.

oh mother,
but why would you go?
dont you know,
as to how much, you were loved
by this son of yours,
who still lives in this mortal world,
while i find you on a night sky,
wondering as to which one of you,
is really you, mother
but oh that dosen’t matter,
for i told them, i love them all
and oh they twinkled.

the love that i have for you,
oh who do i express to it now,
for now as you’re gone,
i’ve the words in my mouth,
but still i cant seem to speak,
for oh i’m in pain.

i try to forget you,
but oh how can the sun,
ever forget as to from where it rises.

i’m in pain mother,
oh please come back,
and forgive all i have done,
to hurt you,
and oh i promise,
i wont be the thorn,
for the rose, that you always were.

oh i write love,
when i find myself in, oh so much pain
but oh they still talk about me,
but oh what can i do, mother
for oh every where, i go
i witness so much pain,
and oh it’s something,
that my naked eyes, will never get used to

so i try to write love
in the hope of telling all,
that oh love exists,
and oh is so beautiful.

oh mother, tell me
am i that bad, as they say
for i do not know,
as to what will be the future,
of your son,
for he fails and oh fails,
in every aspect of life

oh mother, can you please ask the sky
that oh they tell me,
is your home,
to please oh tell me,
that oh it’ll be fine
just this once,
that oh it’ll be fine,
for i’m losing myself,
only to wish, that oh i was dead.

oh lord,
why did you strip me of my happiness?
why would you, take from me, that oh mattered so much to me
oh what did i ever do
oh tell me, what did i ever do

did i not pray enough,
night after night,
begging you, for a glimpse of her
for just a whisper.

oh how much more,
will you make this world suffer,
for can you not kill all bad,
and let the happy live

can you not for once
be fair,
and not take the people we love?

can you not show mercy,
on those who suffer
every day, in such torment
while they still keep fucking
beg you?

oh yes, this will make us stronger
but oh why dont realize
as to how difficult it is
to live w all of this?

oh tell me,
what;s the purpose of living,
such a life,
oh please tell me
TELL ME
please

Advertisements

A Dream.

I have a dream
Something I always wanted to do
When I grow up,
With the one,
Who will be for eternity.

After the dinner
Hand in hand we go,
To feel the love
And to feel
What it feels like,
Walking together in absolute silence.

Promise to make you laugh,
With stupid face’s
Promise to make you feel special,
Whenever I can.
Promise to die for you,
Even if you wouldn’t.

Songs we will play,
Discoveries we will make
Wrapped up in a blanket of breeze
Only to spread the warmth of love.

Srijan.

The Perfect Date.

Under the night sky,
With a smiling moon there,
Surrounded by  a constellation of stars,
Dazzling as if its Eclipse.

Perfect day for a date,
Where it will be just you and me.

A place not so fancy,
Isolated from the world,
To make two hearts one.

A lake all around,
With a small island in between.
On a boat we go,
Away from the world.

Paddling the boat in the night sky,
with you in it, smiling!
What more could I ask for?

Boat at a standstill,
only to start a new chapter of life.

Walking on the beach,
Till the place we are meant to be.
Light’s at a distance,
One wonder’s, the other one’s wrought up.

Stopped at last,
Made her sit on the couch,
he made with flowers and  cushions.
With a home theater in front,
And candles on the trees.

Dumbstuck she sat there,
Only to never forget this,
Ever.

Drinks served,
Movie’s seen.
Conversation’s began,
Only to last Forever.

 

 

Are you happy now?

Are you happy now ?
Things shared in vain,
Edged in parting ways.

Are you happy now?
Things untold,
Tranquilly Wailed,
Until one blessed day
Died young.

Are you happy now ?
Brightest night’s,
Transferraled sluggishly into Darkness.

Are you happy now ?
Plans in mind,
Now lies frozen forever.

Are you happy now?

 

The Lost One’s.

Crowd outside the girl’s house.Two bodies lying there. Both shot. Suffering? Yet to come.

Girl came and stood at the door, didn’t really get what was happening.

The girl asked his brother “Why is grandma sobbing beside Mumma and Papa? Why are they sleeping in the garden ?”

His brother Hitesh replied with a sham grin “They are not sleeping Amna.”

An ambulance came, Amna was seen waving as her parents turned to ash.

Where are they going Hitesh bhaiya ? “They have gone somewhere, where all the pure souls end up. They are in heaven. Their new home”

Amna pushing through the mass of crowd, sits beside her grandmother and says “Don’t cry Grandma” Cleared her tears with her small hands.

And said “Let’s pack our bags. We will reach before Ma and Pa and surprise them.”

A hug came her way, two faces in it. One knew everything and the other still unknown.

The next day, the two year old cried like she couldn’t get something she wanted badly. The reason was not similar, but the feeling was.

Srijan.

 

 

 

The Nights. #1

A dreadful night it was. Solace until they arrived.

The bell rang. The door opened. The people in black suits were here.

There was a sense of pensiveness in air. Conversations began.

Wali, the three year old, keeked from behind the curtains.

Loved black. But who knew life will soon was going to be wan.

Heard things he couldn’t understand.

Beside him was her, a little older sister. Wrought up due to the current environs.

But would never let it got notice.

“Look Amna, there’s something on my belly which I can’t get rid off, ” said Wali as he tried to shake it off but tripped instead.

Amna smiled at this. But Will she later ?

Sounds of chairs moving. And footsteps with greater intensity left the house.

They took him.

Tears crowded mother’s eyes. She felt weak.

Amna deciphered the emotions and took Wali to sleep.

Under the blanket he was. Two eyes showed up.

“Why did they took dad with them Amna? ” asked Wali.

Anna replied,” Its all a illusion Wali, he will be back soon.” What’s an illusion? asked Wali.

“Nothing , go to sleep Wali tomorrow we will go to pick up dad. I hope so.” Said Amna.

Amna suddenly felt sleepy and slept beside his brother. As if her eyes knew when to close them.

A quirky silence surrounded the house only to darken it more.

She sat there on the ground, sitting on her tears.Thinking off all the good times she had spent. Slowly she moved vertically, till the origin, and the tears collided. Wanted to howl away the pain she grew with every second, but their creations lied, unknown.

She sat up as she gathered some strength, and went to the balcony.

The night seemed silent or was it unnoticed throughout. She looked down, to look for her destiny.

Suddenly, the wind slapped her gently. She smiled, unknowingly. She looked at the dark, only if she knew one can’t see dark. She wanted to reach the moon but there were stars. Stars she wished weren’t there. 

She went to quench her thirst. The flavour to her water was gone or was it never there ?

Was this marriage not meant to happen ? Was marrying him a mistake ? Were there any regrets ?

She hoped that the night was drunk in a dream of her that she regretted to see. The only regret of hers.

This, the night she would never forget. The day it all started.

She thought as she stroked her hand over the forehead and ennuily she tried to sleep, only with open eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First Day at School.

School reopened after the long summer break.

It was the first day of school. The day he felt obscure about. But it came like the Moon, on a cloudy night!
Salutation’s from friends, but not from the one he wished from. Classes began.

Silence screamed through the corridors. An alliteration so verisimilitude, even the Mirages seemed real.

It was Chemistry. Teacher moved towards the board, like he wanted to move to the class she was in.

On the black board was a question, ‘Why does alcoholic KOH prefers elimination while KOH(aq)  undergoes substitution reaction.’ Answer to the question came mixed up with the existing thoughts in mind. He began ” Sn2 method is followed, with KOH dissolved in water, as there is a single path it can take, like the curve on her face that made him substitute thoughts with a feeling he wanted to feel again. And so it undergoes substitution reaction. On the other hand while using alcoholic KOH, the C2H5O ion in it, abstracts a proton from the reactant and thus forming a alkene, as if the heart got drunk, because of the magic in her eyes, only to remain like that as now he would reminisce upon a scene beautiful than a waterfall on a night sky, with stars that glistered bright.” The magic that a magician can’t show, and a spectator can’t see. That’s why it’s called Magic.

The next Period was English. The invisible man, a novel they were asked to read, but not as interesting like her he would say, read moods on her face, he couldn’t help notice. She was a novel in herself,  that he wished to read. She was the novel to his library, as if it was his heart in her chest. She was words,to his incomplete sentences, as if she was the pink to his Lotus.

It was time. Now they stand. Face to face. Their eyes meet each other’s as he passes the ball to her.It was the eclipse of love after the time he dreaded to experience. She blabbered, he shyed, as if she was Moses and he was the ocean, only to complete this bridge of love.

Srijan.

 

 

Verse.

°
I sat to write a verse,
With a watery cloth over my eyes,
Meekly It fell,
Like those of many,
From sources duped to believe,
What they see.
°
Sowing feelings was never easy,
But harvesting was even more onerous.
°
Adulated verses,
Are absolute in themselves.
An ocean of feelings,
In them,
Full of things one can’t ascertain.
°

 

First love.

Saw you at the school,
With bonny eyes.

You walked past me,
As if you were the comet,
And I was the star,
Only to meet, never again.

A wish I made everyday,
To be on her spectacles,
As if she was the moon,
And I was the ocean.

First love,
Is always special.
Trust, agony, Felicitiness,
Constituents mixed carefully
As if she was winters,
And I was summer.

After a year and half,
On a friday,
You waved at me,
If I was the one,
You lost whom you loved the most.

Stunned I stood there,
Wondering if this is a dream.
A dream unsaid until now,
Renamed an incident,
By the one,
That made everything as ‘done’.

Mere words can’t express,
The love I had for you.
As you are a novel,
Of emotions,
Abstract but visible,
Only to me.

A Beautiful Change.

 

Amar and Sonia. Together since 10th standard.
And now things changed a little. How did they change?

Together they were throughout their school life. Never left each other for too long. A bond nobody could ever broke.

Done with school. College started. They had grown up at last.

Lives changed.

Sonia saw Amar less and less. Chats on networking sites were not enough for her.
She wanted to meet. Made many plans. Who knew they were worth nothing.

Amar denied everytime. Never said why?

Sonia not up to date about his life? Thought he was cheating. Thought he was bored with her. Various things in mind. She wanted answers.

Asked a couple of his friends. What’s up with him.

After much deliberation to one of his befriends…….

Got to know. He is doing a job, at a call centre. Spends the night there.  He doesn’t go to college. Also doing some business. No college. Nobody knows why.

A job she thought? Why what’s the need? Everything was fine! No college? And business?

She wanted to find out. She never asked him anything. Nor did he tell her anything.
After 2-3 days She asked

“How’s the college going” she asked. ‘Great’ he replied.
They didn’t talk anything else that day.

Things grew weirder everyday. She would get nightmares. Life for her was miserable.

6 months passed. She still didn’t get to know. She was frustrated. She had almost lost hope.

Then on one day he called. Excitedly she picked his call.

She was then seen outside a house. A house she had never known even existed. A house with all luxuries. But for whom?

Waiting inside the house was Amar. Was a little nervous. How will he face her? Will she believe him ? Regretting all the denials he made. Why did he do it ?

Amar opened the door. Made her sit.

She smiled as she took a seat.

And thenn….

A bunch of kids appeared from somewhere.  Playing among themselves. Some were small, Some were young. Cutely they stared at her.Smiled at her with teeth that were yet to come.

Then Amar began.

First day of College it was. Gates closed. Amar didn’t attend college that day!

In front of the College was a wall. Had a opening in it. Heard someone cry. Went to investigate. Saw a house. Completely destroyed. Roofs were in the pool. Stairs were incomplete. Dust painting the walls like they originated from there.

A dim light in a room. Slowly he got there. Crying stopped.

He saw kids. Not just kids. Kids who were so hungry that they were eating the rotten fruits. Kids who were not well, still they smiled their hearts out. Kids so small and naive, yet suffering so much.

Saw a old mattress on which they slept. Long banana leaves as blankets broke his heart.A jug of water, with dust floating on it.

Tears rolled down his cheeks. He wanted to bring a change. He wanted to do something and that too fast.

Spent all the money he had on food items. They ate after a long time they said.

Gently tapped their shoulders.

Asked him not to leave. Nights are scary they said.

Brought blankets from home.
Spent the night there.

Planned. Work began.

The next day.
Went home, said had a night stay the day before. And now will frequently have for some months. Exams preparation he said.

Got into a Call centre at night shifts. Started a business alongside which he did during the day.

Worked to give them a better life. Life full of struggle. Struggle for those he had never met.

Lived with them for 6 months.Went home frequently for money. For a party he will say to his parents. Party every other day, they complained. Would convince them somehow.

6 months hardwork didn’t got wasted. Earned enough to buy a house and necessary things on a permanent basis.

Got them new clothes. Everything they would require.

Arranged the house and all the things within a week and brought them there. Would live with them in this new house, he said at last.

Dumbstruck she stood there. Suddenly she stood up. All eyes on her.
And hugged Amar.
All the kids joined Sonia Didi.

Amar smiled with a sense of relieve.

The End.

Srijan.